I lied.

Have a drunken, laugh out-loud, Labor Day weekend…

Do you have a card?

That is something we probably say just about everyday. Out and about we meet people, claim we want to stay in touch or network, share ideas … Then we reach into our pockets, purses and wallets and exchange our cards. Everyone usually has one — some for business or some that were just made up as calling cards for, well, ya know …

I’m in the middle of the “saddest” move of my life right now. Worse than the long and painful one I experienced a few years back from the cornfields of the Midwest. It’s sad because I am going to move into a nicer area but a really, really small place. Today I have been rummaging through useless crap and I tell you, the most useless crap I’m throwing away are business cards!

I had every intention when I collected them to contact the person written on each little 2″ x 3 1/2 well-intentioned card. But about 95 percent of them truly have no use to me even though I will probably keep many from the lot. Some of that percentage includes past business, sources and old friends I never will see again. However this move is about downsizing and I already have a problem throwing documents away and yes, I do consider business cards in that category because they are supposed to have value. Supposed to anyway.

I pondered how in the hell did I collect so many?! Some of them I can’t seem to throw away. Those in question are:

* Millenium Wines, Inc., overlooking the Platte River Valley (and that isn’t a typo)

* David Allen, Elvis Tribute Artist

* Country Acres Kennels, since 1972

* Goui Gui, African Art, Crafts & Djembe Drum Outlet (huh)

* Steve “Snorkle” From, Bullfighter/Clown, Barrelman

Honestly if I actually stayed in touch with at least a third of the people who gave me the cards I decided to keep, I could say I’ve traveled the whole world.

Last one for the week, I promise.

I’m still getting traffic to my blog from people searching Anthony Michael Hall.

And it increases everyday! I’m probably not helping matters by putting up posts like this one, but that LOL generator for blog feeds is so funny to me. I mean they are not even hand-picked by yours truly! They are random and I have no say. But isn’t this one fitting?

I have been LOL’ed

The Bagel of Everything over at Ration Reality  put my blog feed into a LOL generator. Check this page  out.

I died laughing. I so needed that.

The married man

Not too long ago I had a business lunch with someone I could tell right away as “my type.” I’m not one to really have a laundry list of things that make up a type for me because what I find attractive varies — and varies often. But then there are times like this one in particular…

First off, a great smile. Intelligence and humor. Great taste. Conversation. All of this I notice five minutes into the meeting. The first thing I do when many of these things come up as I encounter the opposite sex — in any situation — is I immediately, very slyly glance to see if he’s packin.’ But when I say packin’ I don’t mean anything other than if he’s got a ring! And more likely than not, he usually does. And so did this guy. I’m not about to preach on the whole “all the good ones are taken” thing. I think there are all kinds of great singles out there. I just don’t encounter them in my day to day. But who I do encounter are married men.

If you asked me who my “ideal” man was, I could probably give you a list if you really wanted it. However, I would have a hard time because like I said, it can vary and because I’m such an almost A.D.D. type of person I may tell you honesty is the most important thing and then if you asked me again I would say a sense of humor. In past cyber surfing attempts trying to find a match, I used the blanket script of honesty as my main focus. And somewhere in there I say something about being able to “keep up with me” or some other bullshit kind of entry. What doesn’t help, and this isn’t me coming close to bragging, is that when there seems to be a connection with someone, (not in my recent case) the guy quickly says some variation of this, “If I wasn’t married…” I never take this as an advance for a possible affair. I can’t stand the idea as you may have read in this rant. And many moons ago when I was a hostess in a semi-upscale and “trendy” restaurant, I was more or less propositioned to be a mistress which I took much offense to. Still there is the rub.Between attracting and being attracted to married men, my single life is kind of blah. I mean I am not going into the whole woe is me.

But just picture this scenario: You know how if you go to a party or a barbecue and you reach for a cold beverage from a very filled to the brim cooler packed with ice? However you can’t exactly see what you want because all of the drinks are buried in the ice. So you reach blindly, plummeting your arm into the cold, ice-water mess but all you keep picking out are the drinks you don’t want. Even though you know the drinks you truly want are somewhere below all the ones you keep getting a frozen arm over in the meantime. OK, that may or may not have made sense? Anyway, maybe this is why people cheat? Are many people in marriages they shouldn’t be in, all the while the “right” person for them is sitting at home alone? I know there are plenty of happily married people. But if it were that simple, the divorce rate wouldn’t be a common topic or defense for unwed folks.

CHEEZBURGER! Give Lily a chance…

Maybe I’m just not clever enough. Or Ms. Tiger Lily just isn’t funny. But she never sees a day on the voting page. Sigh…

When college honor goes too far.

Did anyone read the latest on the guy who literally lost his balls  to the fact that he was a UT supporter? Well, sure he kind of egged on that OU guy and he may have been ready to have a real fight about the whole UT shirt wearing thing but still. To rip out someone’s scrotum?!

My assistant is an OSU grad. She was the one who sent me the link today to this story. Being an OSU gal, she keeps up on all things university scandal in the big Okla. This has got to take the cake. The OU/UT thing is HUGE here. Fights break out every year. There is plenty of public intoxication. There is plenty of rough-housing. I think this is a first.

What’s worse (and you really need to read that link above and laugh at the visual on the right that was posted with the story!) is that the guy who “yanked” the jewels so to speak is a deacon! That’s right. A God-fearing Christian pulled another man’s balls off.

Why is college honor so damn important?! I went to a school with no real sports following. We were bad at b-ball, didn’t have a football team and our wheelchair team was really our all-stars (great chaps by the way and gorgeous). We had the regular frats and sororities. I chose not to pledge although both my parents were involved in them. I had no interest. College media was my “thing.”

My father has a brand on his arm honoring his frat and had some strange hazing crap he had to do while in college. However I don’t think the levels of love of one’s university fell into such extremes back then. No matter the ribbing, and compounded with the fact that he is supposed to be a peace-loving person, what on earth could have possibly been said or done to warrant a deacon performing a public maiming?!

It’s not a gay issue…

[Update: Here is a really good discussion at Hysterical Raisins.] 

I want to Sen. Craig to quit making “gay” the issue in his current hot-seat position. So what if he is or isn’t and maybe he needs to face his true self, eat his words and admit to his “ideals” being hateful. But what needs to be said is that the released audio  of his arrest (please ignore the fact that it is a FOX news link)  makes the Minnesota police system look kind of bad. The officer questioning him didn’t really seem like he had much to make stick. And this sounds more like a push into a “fake” confession. I mean this cop is going on and on about how “disappointed” he is in Craig. And how “embarrassing” it is for the cop personally and how he wants to be able to respect Craig. What? Where is he? In the corner of the room with his nose pressed against the wall in preschool? This is supposed to be an interrogation!?

Crap about hand placement, toilet paper and where was his ring??

I don’t really know if this anti-gay monster is guilty or not. But he’s guilty of folding when the evidence, if placed in front of a jury, just wouldn’t stick. Which pretty much means he either felt the heat or he actually was in the kitchen.

I support gay rights and I don’t feel sorry for this sad senator. But I do think this audio just supports the argument of being proved guilty before innocent and how the media massacred this guy before he had a chance.

Good riddance, however.

[Update on the update: Here’s a great quote from nonnie9999 at the above mentioned blog.]

i just heard the tape again, and craig clearly says he was picking up a piece of toilet paper (you know, the invisible tp that the officer couldn’t see). that makes the case against craig in my mind. unless there is a severe shortage of tp in minnesota, then why the hell is he picking it up from the floor? it made me think of that scene in seinfeld with elaine begging for one ply! not only did he say that he was picking up a piece of tp off a public toilet (ick!), but he was going into contortions to do so. he said that it was behind the toilet. sorry, but does anyone want to wipe his ass with tp that has been on a public restroom’s floor? to top it off, why did he need the tp in the first place? he didn’t flush before he left the restroom. if he is a fanatic of cleanliness, and that is what forced him to pick up the paper from the floor, then why didn’t he flush the toilet?

Yea, she has a good point there and EWWWWW!

Here is another viewpoint to consider at 2288 beckley rd.

Ok here is something funny for you. I can’t take credit for finding it. The Grand View had this posted in his blog first!

It had to be said…

 *Not the real dude by the way.

Why isn’t his 15 minutes up yet?

[Update:] I have taken a look at the Web site link on this YouTube video. And now something else has occurred to me. Who is this guy? I’m looking up HughNews and all I get is some Alabama rev with a newsletter. Then I look on YouTube and it’s an Aussie. I’m really behind I think on crap!

[Update on the update: It is in fact an Aussie with some “community channel,” which is basically just YouTube. Anyone else ever hear of it? Any Australians out there??]

Delete my comments…

I have to say this though I know I’ve probably hit my rant quota for the week. If you have read the post below you have a little insight as to why I’m scrawling my latest.

I have to really give it to intelligent bloggers. There are so many out there. They discuss just about everything and speak their mind. I speak my mind as well. I say what I want after reading your post and you are free to approve it or delete it. But one thing is for sure, please decide against altering it. All this does is reflect something that isn’t the truth of what was said.

Trust and believe I have moments where I cuss like a sailor. If you don’t like that, please put up a little disclaimer where it can easily be found and say so. I will respect your wishes. It’s your right and I respect everyone’s rights.

I love debate. And arguments and disagreements don’t scare me much. I think we all can use getting a little oxygen pumping in our blood as we get flush faced about something we don’t agree with — that is what makes us passionate.

I’m a chick. I cuss. You may not like it. You may think it “lowbrow.” Just delete.

Please and thank you.