Archive for the ‘humor’ Category

Don’t mess with my trash…

It was bound to happen.

A few weeks ago I forgot to set my trash bin out the night before pickup and decided, stupidly, to leave it out the rest of the weekend as to not forget for today’s run. Not a habit I plan to develop because I think it is very tacky to keep that thing out. It makes the neighborhood look bad.

Anywho, I still had a few bags left the next morning and trotted out in my nightgown (also tacky) and got ready to dump the rest of my stuff when behold! There were several black bags of trash (filled to the brim, mind you) that I knew darn well were not mine. On top of that, they were filled with yard waste which you all know is a no-no. It wasn’t even bulk week! I was reminded of that King of the Hill episode…the same thing happened to Hank, though I was only a tad tempted to dig through the bags of trash to ID my bin-stuffer.

Mad as Cain (or McCain for that matter), I looked around and tried to see who the culprit was…yes. In my nightgown. All I did was kind of look for evidence of who might have cut some branches down recently. And of course I could not figure it out.

What would you have done? I’m sure this won’t be the last time this happens and even if I put my trash out the same day, who is to say someone won’t add last minute junk to my bin?
I need advice as a new homeowner, missing her old apartment dumpster.

I know my quest for advice is a little late, because once I got dressed that morning, I went to my computer and got to work. I typed these words:

KEEP YOUR TRASH TO YOURSELF

THIS IS A FRIENDLY REMINDER

TO THROW YOUR TRASH IN YOUR OWN BINS.

IF YOURS IS FULL, DON’T WAIT TO THE

LAST MINUTE NEXT TIME…

I posted this note on every bin on my alley. Think the neighbors hate me yet?

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Confession…

I have an increasing crush on John Popper! Maybe because he was so sweet and considerate and he didn’t know me from Adam. He didn’t have to get me in that show. And he didn’t try anything funny…more than I can say for people who aren’t traveling musicians weary from the road…

Don’t worry. I’m not going to go crazy fanatical or anything. But I may consider flying to Washington for the end of their tour! Or maybe I’ll just dream I did. 🙂

photo by jenice johnson

By the way, I shot the above photo at House of Blues Dallas on Nov. 5.

The John Popper experience

OK. So I’ve always been a fan of Blues Traveler. But I have to admit, I’ve never been to a show.  So when I saw John Popper at Frankie’s in Uptown on election night, I was star struck but didn’t really know much about Blues Traveler’s latest album. However, after chatting for a little while, Popper said “Write your name down” so I could get into their show at House of Blues the next night.

I grabbed a matchbook and wrote it down. And because I’m way too curious, I decided I would head out to HOB last night to really see if my name was on the list…and sure enough it was. Along with backstage stickers!

But like I said, fan — but not really aware of the new stuff. I’ve always heard BT puts on a great show and me-and-john-popperlast night was no different. He played the old standard, “Run Around” of course but some of the new songs were cool too. I’m definitely going to get the CD.

After the show, and a few harmonica tosses later that I managed to never catch but one guy got knocked in the head with, we got to head to the Green Room. I wasn’t even in the door when he yelled, “Jenice! I was looking at that book of matches today and hoped you would come!” and then he kissed my hand.So because I didn’t get the photo on Tuesday, I got my picture taken with him where he proceeded to kiss me on the cheek. Look folks, I’m not a groupie but that was kind of cute. He even signed my reporter’s notebook and asked, “Did I spell your name right?”

When we left I got his artist manager’s card and they seemed interested in photos…or maybe they were just being polite. Either way, who cares! It’s not everyday you get a kiss on the cheek from a Grammy winner.

Vote for the fairy…

Me at Halloween

Or go ahead and vote for Obama or McCain. I don’t mind. Just vote.

The new W.

I’m sorry. I may be ignoring the issues right now, but John McCain’s “breast of fresh” flub from the last debate has got me inspired to find some links to his Freudian slip. Seems like we have already had eight years of odd comments, mixups and unintentionally funny speeches with George Bush. If John gets elected, here’s to four more!

http://airamerica.com/content/breast-fresh-air

http://www.buzzfeed.com/nicholas/sarah-palin-a-breast-of-fresh-air-5k

http://www.reddit.com/r/reddit.com/comments/77ef6/did_mccain_just_say_that_america_needs_a_breast/

I dunno. Just proving it wasn’t just me that thought he said that!

“A breast of fresh air…”

Geez, McCain. I think that was a really good reason to pick Palin instead of Kay Bailey Hutchison.

Gruesome discovery at home…

I posted this over at my work blog. But I just could not pass up posting it here. It’s not often you find a body part in your driveway…

Yesterday evening when I came home from work, I went outside to take in my garbage bins as I normally do on a Monday. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary other than the fact that the weather seemed to be shifting to the cooler side. First I took in the regular trash bin and then on my way back to get the recycle bin, I noticed something odd in my driveway, just outside of the garage door.

At first it looked to be one of those black sponge rollers. But it seemed moist, like clay or something so I took a stick and picked at it. But the more I moved it around, the more it seemed apparent that this was no sponge roller or piece of felt or mud or even doggie business. No this thing looked to have nostrils. And I was quite sure by the time I had rolled that thing halfway down the alley to get it off my drive that it was certainly a nose. Not sure what to do, I took two sticks like chopsticks and tried to pick it up. That took about 10 minutes as the floppy thing kept falling back on the ground. Finally I was able to move it near the creek by my house and I just stood there. Not sure what to do…

So I went upstairs and took a shower. Being that I’m supposed to be a journalist, my curiosity and need to “do the right thing” overcame me and I figured I should at least take photos of it. Of course by the time I was back in the alley, my neighbors were walking their dogs. I told them of my discovery (because I’m sure I was about to look really funny taking snapshots of mud and grass) and I kept reassuring them I wasn’t nuts. However when I tried to find it, I forgot where I hoisted the thing!
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