I dish on Las Vegas over at the work blog…

the trip that wasn’t as naughty as i hoped but there is always next time, right…?

As you know already, I’ve been through a trying few weeks. Getting back on track I realized, damn, I literally have to blog at about five places a week! This means that with my decreased normal ferocity, I am not really blogging at all of them equally or every week at the moment. But if you want to read about my Vegas trip, please do at my Cat Lady Rambles blog, which is where I blog for work. Plus now that I’m currently seeing someone (which could change at any moment for all I know because life is always strange), I’m not sure what to do with the singles blog. Is anyone really reading that anyway? I have some interviews lined up for it so I can press on but maybe I should change the name? I dunno.

In addition, I’ve got SO much to catch up on with all of your blogs. I’m behind. I feel like I’m just getting on track at work but still feel a bit behind there too. And this month is super busy. Geez. I feel like I’m bitching a lot over here, huh.  But I guess that is just my life at the moment. Constant change. Never boring. And extremely frustrating. Thank goodness for the written word. I would go flipping coo-coo.

Third date comedy…

For all the yuck in the world (especially life’s wonderful ways to constantly go in the direction you didn’t want), sometimes karma rewards you with something good…(but never without complications).

My latest video of my Eligible Editor series features the guy I’m currently seeing and since it is kind of a silver bullet to a relationship to get into too much detail on a blog, this video is as personal I will get from now on unless something really crazy funny comes up during this interesting courtship. Then that’s another story…

The curse of non-affection…(a plea for advice)

So it finally happened. I met a great guy. And in the midst of this home-buying jazz, I guess I have been officially dating so combined with work I’m almost never alone. However as of 20 minutes ago it may be quite clear that I am no longer doing that. You see, I’m not a huge cuddler. I mean, I like it and all when I feel like it but I’m not a non-stop, gotta hang on you, hug on you, kiss on you kind of gal…And in a fit of trying to get some zzz’s tonight and just wanting some air, I got up and said I can’t sleep like this. Granted, we haven’t done, well, you know. But it’s only been like TWO WEEKS. What does he expect? I just like to sleep on MY side of the bed and be left alone. But I guess that wasn’t cool. And I’m just playing this game safer than my past hurry-up-and-wait relationships.

But I gotta tell you, I grew up with a wonderful father. He always was and is there for me. He supports my crazy antics, listens and helps when he can. But he’s not affectionate. I wasn’t brought up being called princess. I didn’t get hugged all the time except on occasion from my mother. The household was loving for the most part, just not touchy-feely like other families I guess. It didn’t really bother me. But maybe it’s translated into my not really being touchy-feely. I like holding hands and stuff but I’m not going to be all up in your ass all day. I’m surprised to find a guy who wants, and needs, that. So he left. And I think we aren’t dating now. Not sure really. He left saying he thinks he needs to “figure stuff out??” And I just got off the phone with him and he said he will call me tomorrow. I don’t feel like I have to pay for the psychos of his past. And I’ve given him so much of the benefit of the doubt.

Just because I needed my side of the bed? Men. Help me out here.

Should we follow advice columns?

I’m going to post what I’ve been posting over at my work blog. I’m really confused by these steps written by Quick writer Bridgette Williams. Am I just daft or are these really the best steps toward learning to love yourself and in turn land a guy? I want your opinions so you tell me.

Read them in their entirely here:

http://www.o8sis.com/sharedcontent/dws/o8s.is/bwilliams/stories/o8sis080131_ph_hookup.7882c02f.html 

and here: http://www.o8sis.com/sharedcontent/dws/o8sis/bwilliams/stories/o8sis08010207_ph_hookup.9cb767ae.html

But what I’m having issues with is her steps 6 thorough 8. It’s a walking contradiction.

6. Realize, reconcile, repeat. Let me explain. I’ve got a friend who engages in flirtatious banter with a bevy of boys – some she actually likes, some she doesn’t.

This creeps me out because I don’t understand why you would flirt with someone whom you have no interest in. That’s just mean. But I can reconcile it with the fact that you have to start somewhere, and flirting is as good a starting point as any.

7. Recruit a romantic role model. While my friend’s tactics are different than mine, I consider her a romantic role model. Find someone who navigates the dating world as a man magnet and find ways to emulate her.

8. Understand your love perspective. I was raised by guys. So it’s highly likely that I will have a guy’s point of view on most issues, like the whole flirting for flirting’s sake thing. My point is, if you know you don’t like the color, why are you trying on the dress?

So here is where I’m lost. I thought that if I had the flirty friend I am supposed to follow her lead but she just said not to flirt for flirting’s sake. I’m bringing all this up because as you go on your journey trying to figure out what is wrong with you or find out what to do with yourself by reading these advice columns, start dissecting.

I know we are all seeking for knowledge. Obviously because we are bloggers. And bloggers read other bloggers to get advice. Sometimes it’s good and other times…One thing I do agree with is the idea of loving yourself. But shouldn’t you figure out on your own how to do that. Can someone really tell you how to love you?

Video: Your lowercase “t” is showing…

Since I’ve been in the doldrums of political madness this week, I’m going to post a slice of funny. Well. I hope it’s funny anyway. Here is a video we shot for work that shows me, the “Eligible Editor” (blah) and her friend getting their handwriting analyzed.

Here’s what I can tell you that wasn’t kid-friendly or good for tape:

1. My “y’s” show that I have a high sex drive. Hum.

2. My “t’s” show that I have a slight self-esteem problem. Really?! I didn’t think I did but maybe that’s just something you don’t really know but just get told to you?

3. Apparently I don’t really have high standards when it comes to men. I don’t know about now but that sure does explain my past flubs!!

Click the pic and enjoy…

 

Black women: they don’t want you.

Warning: This is written as stream of consciousness, you find your own clarity. And I’m sure, your own disagreements with me.

Before leaving my home around 10 p.m. last night, I checked the mirror. I didn’t feel that my hair looked it’s best but overall I felt pretty. Makeup was at a minimum. I dabbed on a little scented oil and dashed out the door. The place I was going was unfamiliar to me but I knew what the crowd would be like — artists, poets, talented people who probably have boring day jobs.

Upon reaching my destination, I felt very alone already. The street was quiet. Just a couple walked passed me, hand in hand. Surveying the street before entering, I walked into a quaint bistro — pretty much ready for a glass of wine, beer, some grub. Before deciding on something ridiculously priced, I realized I was right. Artist types. A few wearing those Hunter S. Thompson  stances, a few looking over their notes before approaching the mic, several looking authentic in afros, dreadlocks — no one really taking notice of me but that was fine. A cute couple approached in line after I placed my order. He full of dreads and a nice, dark physic; she with alabaster skin and flowing brown hair. Nice-looking pair I thought and I took my seat.

Then I noticed something. Every black female, including myself, was either alone or with a group of other black females who were alone. For all I know, they had men at home but part of me, cynical me, doubted it. I looked around. Including the couple mention previously, there were two more black male/white female pairings. That usually doesn’t bother me…

At the risk of being completely exposed…

Check out my latest project at work. Yes. I’m now the “Eligible Editor.”

Did the devil spike my cookie?

While scrummaging around in my closet yesterday getting ready for the company Christmas party, I found an old fortune from who knows how long ago. It reads:

Be mischievous and you will not be lonesome…

Is it wrong that I took this to mean when it comes to men? I think I’ve been mischievous before and I appear to still be single. Let me check…

Yep. Single.

Anyway as I’ve said before the holidays are not the times many people are keeping up with blogging so I don’t know if anyone is even reading this, but I just had to write about this fortune. Not only is the scripture odd, but it’s not your typical fortune.

Most fortunes, even the really good ones you get from Pei Wei, always say something like being good to get what you want or paying it back or some other kind of funky foretelling. But to be mischievous? That sounds like an evil fortune. Did the devil spike my cookie? I wonder if I did something mischievous when I originally opened that cookie…

Does this mean I need to be all about sex and whatnot? Or does this mean that I’ve just got to kick up the sexy? I don’t know that I need to take cues from a fortune, of course. Especially one found on my floor that was possibly from two years ago that probably fell out of my jewelry box. But the coincidence that I found it just before that party is a strange one.

And I don’t know if I was fueled by it or not but I was up to a bit of mischief last night. The fortune was right. But I am pretty sure I was not alone with a potential suitor. (If that is even what “not being lonesome” meant in this particular case of odd fortune.) More like a fairly amusing night of my laughing too loud, sneaking an ill-gotten tequila shot with a coworker by the pool, talking inappropriately at a late dinner with other coworker friends and their boyfriends, and then a drive home — alone.

I have saved that fortune though. For a later date.

Black women and white men…

I gotta tell you; I’ve not had any slowing down of my old post about interracial dating. It still gets a fair amount of hits. This isn’t a call for all of you jokesters to start finding more weird search engine terms to get to this blog and then for me to write about them.  But for some reason I get on a daily basis at least a dozen search engine terms looking for a variety of topics surrounding black women and white men dating. And lately Jewish men dating black women. WTF? Is this really THAT taboo still? I’ve dated the rainbow, as I’ve told you before, and I just never really saw dating a white man a big deal. Does the rest of society?

I will be honest though. I’m thinking the resurgence of this topic is because of the opposite happening: black men and white women. I’m not going to do some census search on this but I’m just thinking about my every day life in Texas. I see an increasing number of black men and white women coupled up. I don’t have a problem with this but I can only imagine that the two left are looking at each other, shrugging and saying, “Well, why don’t we?”

That said though, there is still so much hesitation. Believe me. White men dating black women isn’t very common here. Not sure about your area of the world. I really dig shows like “Private Practice” that treat interracial connections as something that isn’t a matter of discussion. The main discussion on that show is that the lead black female character has to choose between two men — a black one she was married to and a white one who loves her so much that is the only reason he works in the office. Race isn’t an issue. I can’t stand shows that make that the MAIN issue. The tired old story of “what will my parents think?” Aren’t we over this yet? I just don’t get it.

So for those of you searching to see if this is some “strange” concept, stop. Just go with it. Ask that black chick out. Ask that white dude out. Enjoy Hanukkah with that chocolate hottie…

WTF are you waiting for?

He’s back in your life…now what?

I have been recently contacted by a guy I was seeing. We didn’t end on bad terms, exactly. He just had a lot going on and dropped out of view while I just figured he was a jerk or something (even though he was always a nice guy.) However he has since asked for another shot. Now I’m one to can forgive. But after you have burned me twice, I’ve moved on. Well. I’m giving things another shot. Shot number 2. However I’m very gun-shy about it. How do you let yourself get involved again without all the fear? Do you trust it?

In this case, he said all the right things. Said he made a mistake. Said he wanted another chance and promised no strings attached while he tries to gain my trust I guess. The way my life is right now, I’ve really been focusing on me. But maybe I shouldn’t let that get in the way? I’m such a skeptic. And I don’t expect romance anymore. I just want something stable but at the same time I have finally accepted single life so if it doesn’t work out, going back to the usual won’t be a shock. Many of you, in a round about way, have stated that whole “life is too short” thing in some of my other posts. It is. While it is short, I don’t want a roller-coaster–but I guess that bumpy ride can be fun. Hum. As I twiddle my thumbs, he’s calling shortly. As I twiddle my thumbs I wonder when will I be comfortable with dating again…If I ever really was.