Archive for the ‘LOL cats’ Category

Blogging for sanity

That really should be on a shirt someplace. And actually I already have a worthless CafePress account so maybe I should make some.

I am a converted, longtime yeller. If you aren’t sure what that means, it basically says I’ve stopped yelling. Well, at least I’ve tapered off a great deal. For one: It was one of my resolutions. And for two: It gets old. People don’t care what you have to say when you yell. So I pick my poison, which is usually this blog. People may still not care, but at least I’ve saved my vocal cords and a day’s worth of headaches.

I mean it when I say I stay sane here. I could of course choose other routes of medicating which may have been the true reason why I have been so sick. Drinking is evil. What’s even more evil is Tuaca. I loved him once before, but he and so many others have ruined me. And now I can’t drink anything. I’m now a tonic water and lemon drinker. I’m now the chick who may look lame when she doesn’t ask for a martini or margarita while among those who can drink both on a good day. I’ve channeled it all at this place and I guess I have been for a while — even during those times when Tuaca actually was good to me.

Times have changed and I’ve hit well over 30,000 hits for this almost year-old blog. I’m happy to report that I’m much saner than I would have been without it. Between LOL cats, venting my frustrations about politics, relationships and whatever else gets stuck in my craw or whatever brings me seer delight — I throw it all down. I have a journal I keep by my bedside but I have since neglected it. I will be in some real trouble if I don’t keep this blog up and print everything out because it’s been an interesting year.

I’ve loved and lost (thank God), ventured into the adult world and tried to be a homeowner, dropped some weight and then some since coming down with what I’m calling my “Turning 30-itis,” been in the emergency room four times, threw up on an airplane 50 times, put up with a comic (a bad one at that) for a boyfriend, helped throw together a benefit concert, became estranged with a good friend, became un-estranged with said friend, went to Vegas, got a new position at work, had my first ever art show, bought a new car that gets better gas mileage than yours  (hello 36 mpg) and mentored a high-school student through the pains of journalism. And that’s all off the top of my head.

I know I will be repeating something like this spiel of crap next month when it’s been an official year since I’ve started blogging, but I felt like rehashing the good, the bad and the downright exhausting in one post. If you get curious, feel free to play in my search box at the top of the page. You might like what you dig up.

And as for commemorating 30,000 plus, and hopefully hitting a million one day *sigh*, please enjoy this bit of bliss…

 I don’t care if it’s old…

Oh. You know that I had  to link to my favorite. It makes me happy and it never gets old.

And finally…for you Breakfast Club obsessed people who KEEP googling Anthony.

 

 

Being mad at a man drove me to myspace…

I don’t know why I did it. I think it’s because I haven’t heard from who is supposed to be my boyfriend in four days. What’s funny is this is the guy who started off kind of clingy. Now he’s so focused on self-improvement and all his ambition that I’m no longer on the priority list but “I’m important” to him. And now I stupidly joined the myspace crap just to feel like I’m keeping my options open.

Mind you. I know that I’m not going to find anything or anyone worth a shit on myspace. I guess it’s just some passive aggressive acting out thing I decided to do. But given all that, I am aware that myspace is another way to network. And I would love to be able to get this blog more exposure. So, if you have a myspace profile (and I KNOW you all do, don’t lie — even if it’s for business like one I have for my photography), please give me an add. It is part of a number of things I’m doing right now to keep my mind off of feeling neglected. Still, I give it another week and either I pull the plug on this “relationship” or he does.

How to get anything done: Lie

I am a very upfront, and highly honest person. Maybe a bit too honest. I’ve said that before here at my blog but now I see that I have been wrong all along.

I recently spilled a glass of my breakfast Odwalla B-Monster smoothie all over my work laptop computer…and it wasn’t closed. At least the computer itself wasn’t effected but the keyboard no longer types the letters “U, Y, G, V and J.” I kind of need those letters. Well when I called IT, they basically told me in a very quaint and polite way.

“Just turn the laptop over in a towel. Everything will be OK. Contact your manager.”

Basically I needed to call my boss to see about replacing the whole thing as it was clear that the help desk didn’t offer an alternative other than make a hope, wish and a prayer.  I am quite sure that all I need is a new keyboard because luckily the actual computer works fine in my work docking station. I just can’t use it at home. When I told my boss, he was like “We’ll get it replaced.” But when I told him that I told the IT department that I spilt the smoothie he said, “You really are too honest, Jenice.” Is this a bad trait to have. Geez. I thought that was endearing in a person.

I guess some would call what I did too much disclosure. I probably should have just not told the whole story. But that just seems too unethical and of all the questionable things I am guilty of, being unethical is one thing I don’t want my name attached. So I told it like it was. I shall call it “Smoothie-gate.”

 

Well, all was fine for a while. The crud dried and the keys seemed to work for like 30 minutes and then it was no use. I was contacted this week about getting things sorted (not exactly sure how) but I just got this email from the tech handling my case.

 Just found out that the Dispatch was canceled for being honest about the reason for replacing the keyboard.

So when I emailed him back I said:

So if I had lied then I would have had this expedited better? Good to know that lying is the best policy these days. (INSERT SARCASTIC SMILEY FACE HERE.)

He said I had a point. However the the moral of the story is that when the B-Monster hit my keyboard, and I made the call, I should have said it just stopped working. I should have lied my ass off (or what many people call “not telling the whole truth/story”) and I would have a laptop with keys that work right now.  And as it turns out, the tech is going to find a way to help me so maybe being too honest still works out in the end. But really, lying is the best policy when it comes to getting things done.

The curse of non-affection…(a plea for advice)

So it finally happened. I met a great guy. And in the midst of this home-buying jazz, I guess I have been officially dating so combined with work I’m almost never alone. However as of 20 minutes ago it may be quite clear that I am no longer doing that. You see, I’m not a huge cuddler. I mean, I like it and all when I feel like it but I’m not a non-stop, gotta hang on you, hug on you, kiss on you kind of gal…And in a fit of trying to get some zzz’s tonight and just wanting some air, I got up and said I can’t sleep like this. Granted, we haven’t done, well, you know. But it’s only been like TWO WEEKS. What does he expect? I just like to sleep on MY side of the bed and be left alone. But I guess that wasn’t cool. And I’m just playing this game safer than my past hurry-up-and-wait relationships.

But I gotta tell you, I grew up with a wonderful father. He always was and is there for me. He supports my crazy antics, listens and helps when he can. But he’s not affectionate. I wasn’t brought up being called princess. I didn’t get hugged all the time except on occasion from my mother. The household was loving for the most part, just not touchy-feely like other families I guess. It didn’t really bother me. But maybe it’s translated into my not really being touchy-feely. I like holding hands and stuff but I’m not going to be all up in your ass all day. I’m surprised to find a guy who wants, and needs, that. So he left. And I think we aren’t dating now. Not sure really. He left saying he thinks he needs to “figure stuff out??” And I just got off the phone with him and he said he will call me tomorrow. I don’t feel like I have to pay for the psychos of his past. And I’ve given him so much of the benefit of the doubt.

Just because I needed my side of the bed? Men. Help me out here.

I don’t want to be a hooker, but…

$4,300 for one night of the horizontal hula? Man. That’s some easy money. Well not so easy for New York governor Eliot Spitzer. You all know the story.

Shameless…

What kind of prostitute is awesome enough for nearly $5,000? I mean does she have a special skill? Does she wear something that makes men drop their pants and their wallets? I need to know this gal’s secret because I feel like it’s the key to everything. Like finding the fountain of youth. Or a safe weight-loss pill that works.

All joking aside, I’m sure everyone reading this is asking “WTF?” when you saw Spitzer’s poor wife Silda standing there, I mean standing RIGHT THERE next to that loser during his press conference. Way to put women back 50 years, lady. If it were me, and I know they have children, I would have held a much different press conference. By myself. And nothing but my lawyers and publisher in tow. Just because you have children to consider doesn’t mean that you have to put yourself aside to save face for the family. What about YOUR face? What about what it does to YOUR soul putting up with such embarrassingly public indiscretions. It’s enough to make you want to puke.

I can’t wait until we see this ho’ that Eliot had on loan (he actually had a balance with this service.) I bet she’s not all that. It’s just got to be something magical she keeps in a velvet bag and smells of fairy dust. Come on people. $4,300! No nookie can be THAT good to risk this kind of exposure — pardon the pun.

Hahahah! Kitty feels guilty.

Oh no. I’m not PC.

Oh noes! Iz aint PC! 

I need to point out this blogger. And may I say this “boomer” knew exactly what he/she was doing when they posted this. And he/she pretty much got what they wanted — I’m talking about it. This is what they are in a tizzy about.

I have to vote for someone…and that someone will not be McCain. Mostly because he’s downright too old. I’m not an ageist. I just don’t think he will be able to handle the stress of the role he will have at hand. Eight years ago? Maybe. Today? Even though I find this guy to be tough as nails and possibly the best to handle wartime, I don’t know if we need another heart-attack.

What’s funny, I’ve been more attacked about the Obama mention. So it’s refreshing to be yelled at about something else! I’m not always PC. And neither are most of you. I would like to know what this person thinks about blacks, Latinos, women, Jews, PETA. What does this person say in the privacy of his/her own home?

Does that make us all stupid? Well, that’s up for opinion. I appreciate someone like this stepping up to call me out on something I said that he/she isn’t thrilled with. But I hope this post will expound their thoughts a little more. Why so bitter?

Anyway, I left a comment over there. And yes. I misspelled a word or two in it due to my moment of “passion.” See. I guess I MUST stupid — and human.

I need a name rebirth…

Lily don’t like the name…

As I’ve said in my recent About Me that I revamped around Christmas, I am kind of tired of my Arm Jerker J. moniker. It suites me but I get bored easy. Got any ideas?

This is a call to action, Micky, Stil, Laura, Greg, Mike, Chris, Karen — too many to tag here. Anybody! Everybody? I hope you all can provide some feedback! Or do I just need to keep it since there is a Baltimore Sun blog right now that references my singles blog on occasion, using my handle as Arm Jerker J. in her entries?