Archive for the ‘idiot’ Category

How to dump your girlfriend with “class”

As you have read here, my ex chose the wonderful opportunity to be a real gem by passive aggressively dumping me by not calling for a week and then not bothering to check up on me after I had procedures done to see what has been making me sick. I emailed him this:

I know you didn’t ask, but I wanted to let you know I had a polyp in my stomach and have been diagnosed with Hemorrhagic gastritis and reflux esophagitis. I didn’t get further instruction until I see the doctor again. I have to have a CAT scan of my stomach and pelvis next and then probably another procedure. I really am sure you didn’t really want to know all that, but thought I would tell you since you had to be around me during my flare-ups. The polyp is being tested.

Anyway, look for a package in the mail. I will be mailing your clothing and DVDs. I’m sure you would like those back. Don’t worry. I’m not going to be some weird psycho chick about this. I won’t be emailing you again or bothering you.

Here is his business transaction (like he did ALL things) approach about it:

I’m glad to hear that they’ve finally found the cause of your ailments, and hope that can finally start addressing the pain you have been suffering thru. Thank you for the return of my stuff, I appreciate it. I hope you do well in the future, and wish you luck.

That my friends is how “real” men let you down easy.

(For the record, he doesn’t read this blog…at least I don’t think…)

 

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TXU: Today’s mafia

I’m sitting here wanting to burn down the very facility that warms my home. Granted — I’m an idiot. I should have watched how my usage was going to be before signing up for some bogus plan that only saves me money when I go over 1,000 kilowatts. I hung up on the bitch who told me I had to pay $200 to get out of this plan because it was a 2-year contract commitment.

I guess because I’ve always used TXU I figured it was worth it. Instead I’m sitting here with the gestapo telling me I have no choice. Oh, wait. Yea I have a choice. The choice to keep getting screwed up the rear-end. I’ve had Green Mountain Energy before and I will never do that again. They bent me over more than TXU is right now. It’s all so corrupt. These are the things of what going postal was invented.

So I’m sitting here and the woman tells me that she could help me. Guess how? By changing my price plan and then in return I have to pay the $200 to get out of my current plan. I’m such a dummy for falling for this plan in the first place. I’m in a 535 square foot apartment! When will I ever be over 1,000 kilowatts? Maybe the summer. We shall see. As it stands with the first touch of cool weather my bill is $109 this month. With all my not running the heat all day, limiting my lights and burning fires, I should have decently low usage. I know someone who has a much bigger apartment whose bill is only a little more than mine. Did I mention I’m in a matchbox by the lake?! I asked for an audit but apparently because the world rotates in cyberspace, I have to do that online. How in the hell can you audit a home online without a real, live, red-blooded worker checking your installation and other energy crap right there in real time?

It’s almost worth it because I’m already getting screwed, to just take up being a high-class prostitute for disposable income and obtain the $200 bucks to get out of the mob. Yep. That’s a good plan.

Spell check your support…

bling.jpgWhile driving to an event tonight, I was stuck behind a biker. No biggie. I enjoy bikers. I even own a lucky Harley Davidson ring…

However this biker was a tad different. Among all the leather strapped at his calves, the leather vest, the hankerchief tight around his head — I noticed something kind of odd. He had one of those ticker messages on his bike. You know the ones club kids used to wear that were made into belt buckles? And you could change the message to stupid crap like Vote for Pedro or Blow Me or whatever. Well this was actually one of those ticker things but made to be an accessory for the rear of a motorcycle.

I sat at the light. Reading it. And it started out by stating, “Support our troops.” I can go along with that, no matter my views on the war. I thought that was it and so I turned my head a minute, fiddled with the stereo and then I looked up to see the tail end of the word “return.” Being that this was a super traffic-filled evening, I had time to read it all. I blinked in disbelief and I tilted my head when I realized what it said.

“Support our troops & pray for thier safe return…”

Nope. I didn’t spell that wrong by accident. The message really read with the word “thier” in it. I’m all for free speech, but make sure you spell check it first.

Day 17-18: I smoked on the balcony…

I’m so relaxed.

Lots of things make me do that. All of which aren’t a good enough reason to toke on a cancer stick. However, I buy a pack a month and smoke when I feel it’s necessary. Day 16 and 17 included smoking a cig on the balcony. It felt good. And I just relaxed. Maybe I should have a fake one like the aspergers guy from Boston Legal to appease something inside of me with a placebo type method. I did walk the fair today. And I’m already friggin’ sore as hell from Day 15. So, we’ll see for the weekend. I’m already invited to a VIP party Friday which I doubt will be swarming in healthy. This shit is hard…especially when you have become a recent object of attention from the non-fairer sex. Men are distracting.

Sometimes you just have to say “f**k”

Ah, LOL kitty. I know.

OK. We have all been that lady in Scranton . Yet another thing goes wrong in your humble abode, someone makes you angry, you burned dinner — whatever.  As you know, I willingly admit to cussing like a sailor when I’m not particularly pleased but I can’t imagine getting a citation for it! Sucks to be you when your neighbor is a cop. Here is the story from the Associated Press.

SCRANTON, Pa. – Talk about a potty mouth.

A Scranton woman who allegedly shouted profanities at her overflowing toilet within earshot of a neighbor was cited for disorderly conduct, authorities said.

Dawn Herb could face up to 90 days in jail and a fine of up to $300.

“It doesn’t make any sense. I was in my house. It’s not like I was outside or drunk,” Herb told The Times-Tribune of Scranton. “The toilet was overflowing and leaking down into the kitchen and I was yelling (for my daughter) to get the mop.”

Herb doesn’t recall exactly what she said, but she admitted letting more than a few choice words fly near an open bathroom window Thursday night.

Her next-door neighbor, a city police officer who was off-duty at the time, asked her to keep it down, police said. When she continued, the officer called police.

Mary Catherine Roper, an attorney with the American Civil Liberties Union in Philadelphia, took issue with the citation.

“You can’t prosecute somebody for swearing at a cop or a toilet,” she said.

Give me a f-ing break. It’s your toilet. And it’s over-flowing. And I imagine when that happens after real business hours that is more than just a little bit of an inconvenience. Sometimes you just have to say fuck! Or whatever explicative gives you pleasure. It’s better than violence. No one gets hurt. When you release it into the heavens, you become calmer. You get a warm fuzzy inside knowing that you are in touch with your anger without punching the nearest person to the toilet. Where’s the harm?

I think instead of the cop being the prick that he was, he should have helped her with the damn toilet. That is what is missing from this story —  the fact that there are no gentlemen left. I say that only slightly tongue in cheek seeing how many of you regulars are REAL men I’m sure. Care to weigh in, gentlemen?

A noose at Columbia?!

Jena. Yes at Jena. There is no excuse for it, but that is the South. I live in the South. I know the South.

Call me an idealist, but New York has always represented a sense of freedom, beauty, opportunity and open-mindedness to me. Am I wrong? Yet another noose. Yet ANOTHER ONE at Columbia University of all places. A very distraught Madonna Constantine, the black professor who found the noose on her door, was on Good Morning America this morning–talking to Robin Roberts (my idol), which is ironic because the fact that we see black journalists everyday should show we are in another world compared to what the 50s had to offer. Anyway, the professor said one of the main things she felt was embarrassed though she said she had nothing to be embarrassed about. I’m embarrassed too.

You all know that I hate the race card. And that I don’t like to go on and on about “the black plight.” But this HAS to stop. Why is the world so hateful? I’m continuing my lose of faith in people. And this resurgence of “the noose” is childish at best, dangerous to our country’s progression at worse. I have been pretty lucky because I can’t think of a major incident in my life where I was the victim of racism. To be honest my racism had mostly been by other blacks telling me I wasn’t black enough. Very different problem. My parents however were old enough to experience racism while living in Lubbock, Texas. My mother and her siblings went for ice cream only to discover their vanilla scoops were in fact Crisco. Both of my parents also remember the segregation, the separate water fountains.

I feel so very blessed (I say blessed…even as an agnostic). I’m blessed because I know that the opportunities and the life I have today is a direct result of people who fought for what I have. But I’m fearing that we are going backwards. Not just with something like a fool hanging a noose but this is going to create more of those “movements” I despise. I don’t want to see a 1960s-like movement everytime such actions like this one are taken. I think we can solve this without a march. I think if we just EDUCATE. Show the face of racism and humiliate it. I want to see everyone banded together and speaking out in the community. Marches just get written off as “oh, there THEY go again.” But if you take actions to educate, whether that is in school or town hall meetings, maybe something can be done? But then again, maybe I’m being an idealist like I said before. And because I’m just starting and continuing to feel quite disappointed in people, I might just join a march if there is one to be a part of. I’m tired. I’m just so tired of it.

You probably think you are being cute…

But whoever has so much fucking time to sit and see what words to put together to reach my blog and then wait to see if I get pissed is a pathetic waste of life and space on this planet. I don’t have a problem calling people out when they are acting like sheer morons. Sometimes I even reward those morons and find a way to publicly humiliate them in return for giving everyone the pleasure of displaying their stupidity right there on the sleeve.

A few references to something gross or ridiculous to get to my blog, I laugh at and move on. I have even gotten over the fact that someone Googles about 15 TIMES DAILY stuff about interracial dating, black women and white men, and if black women are approachable to get to this shit everyday. That I can deal with by shaking my head. But when someone puts NIGGER DAY STATE FAIR TEXAS together to see if my blog will pop up, I will have to say you can suck it, then eat it, choke on it and then gag to death.  YOU, whoever you are, have way too much time on your hands and needs either a job, a life or a hobby. Contact me because I’m sure I can find something for you to do.

Thanks for letting me rant because sometimes this bitch just needs to grab by the balls.

Smooches,

Arm