Five years?

Last night I heard from an old friend from Nebraska. I used to work there for a daily as a city and county government reporter.  While there, among a lot of other crazy stuff happening like getting lost in a cornfield, I broke my ankle and now have a plate and six screws bolted to my bone. I think, in a way, being there that year was not only eye-opening but hardened me a little more to tough events.

Writing two to three front page stories almost daily was grueling. So was being a square peg in a round hole. Let’s just say it was apparent to Wal-Mart shoppers I wasn’t from around there. My friend and I couldn’t believe that it’s been five years since I left. He’s in town this week. And on this very Super and Fat Tuesday, I think we will partake in some revelry, catch up and feel how old we are now…

But speaking of Super Tuesday and time passing, five years ago would you have believed we would have a woman and a “minority” running for president — and looking quite promising in the race? I’ll admit, not being able to gawk at Mr. Edwards anymore will be hard. You all know how hot he is to me…but obviously good looks aren’t enough. Neither is idealism, gender and race even though this is a most historical primary. Being in Texas, I don’t get to play yet, but I hope you all who can vote today did before getting sloshed. I’ll be checking your work later tonight.

Day 121: Countdown to a Hotter 30 (results show)

I started Oct. 1.

I wanted to kick start a new fitness/nutrition routine before the holidays and continue throughout the year. I called it Countdown to a Hotter 30. Well on Jan. 27 I turned 30. And though the countdown is over, I’m not done with my improvement. I think the below photo started my whirlwind of changing my habits: no more Sonic breakfasts, no more large ANYTHING, more homemade food, more working out. I’m not going to tell you where the scales tipped in this photo! Circa late summer 2007.

It was taken at a friend’s birthday party. I remember what I ate. I think I knew even that day that I was feeling heavier than the year before. And I forwent the enchiladas though I think I had my share of margaritas and mojitos anyway.

I’ve spent over 100 days working at my goal of dropping some of my lard-ass and it was tough considering I started just before the crazy holidays. Boy that sucked. I hardly took home any leftovers at any function. In fact I threw out some things I took home from a Halloween party as to avoid temptation. I will say that if I had started my calorie counting on day one instead of just two months ago, my progress would have been better. So drum-roll please….

Total pounds lost: 8

All over inches lost: About 3

Big whoop, I know. And I’m STILL not tiny. And I probably never will be. Besides, I just want to be smaller and more importantly, keep my clean bill of health. Tiny and me aren’t really realistic unless you are talking about my voice, ankles and wrists! But most of my clothes are more and more loose by each month. Even though these aren’t exactly the results I wanted in nearly four months, I can definitely say they aren’t bad being that I started at a really dumb time — the time when everyone gains at least 10 pounds in turkey, stuffing and pumpkin pie!

Well there it is.  And obviously I’m not done. I’ve decided not to give myself another deadline, but rather keep up the work I’ve done. I don’t deprive myself. But I don’t overdo it anymore. Never really gave much thought to kid sizes at the drive-through — what a difference! And I’ve saved the “bad days” for Saturday only (with the exception of my birthday dinners this week!) But I told my family NO BIRTHDAY CAKE. 

I went kicking and screaming when my mother suggested counting calories. But it was the best thing she ever made me do. I’ve since decreased my intake from 2,000 calories a day to 1,500, which isn’t that different. At night I crave less and drink more water.

So here’s to just keeping healthy in 2008. And hopefully, sticking with a good enough outlook of myself so I won’t even want to go back to bad habits!  Stay with me though, I will update any continued progress here and there…

Can’t get away fast enough…

I think that in a past life I was some kind of wood nymph or a bit of wind that moves leaves about and messes up your hair. No. I’m not getting corny on you. I’m just trying to come to grips with the fact I can’t seem to be content in the same spot for very long. Or at least the same spot that isn’t offering much in line of, well — life…

Ever see that movie Chocolat? I kind of feel like that. Like I need to keep moving…

With new developments at work, my life and the fact that I’m always wanting to see and learn more, I’ve pondered a few potential places of relocation. Because of it, I’ve not been a very good blog friend and need to catch up on all my reading here. I’ve been quite busy on journalismjobs.com. First pondered move? Alaska. That’s right. All I can keep thinking about is the beautiful scenery of Juneau. The photographic possibilities are ENDLESS…

There are other places too. I’ve received some interest per email and will let you know what turns up. What may turn up is nothing. And I stay here in the scenery flat tumbleweed of Texas. But I’m still seeking everything out like some kind of driftwood who has had just about enough of her share of being banged up against all the currents. 

I know life isn’t smooth anywhere you go. But if that’s the case, I at least want to be doing my not-so-smooth life somewhere with potential beyond the newest bottle service, overly priced martini lounge.

Random alert: January isn’t over, but still…

Resolutions are pretty much ruined in the first week. But I’ve got to say, I’ve been sticking to my resolutions  pretty well. Especially the one about yelling. I yell so much less which shocks my family. I pretty much yell at life. I don’t mean to yell at the person. Just my situation I’m not thrilled with. Or about something that went crabby that day…I catch myself now. And stop before the beast can be unleashed…

I’ve stuck closely to the resolution about putting myself out there. And all the calorie counting. I’ve dropped another pound in fact. Something else worth noting: I’m feeling like 2008 is going to be pretty damn good. I’ve signed up for a lot of stuff this month to keep me occupied and meeting new people. Each month I will force myself to go to at least four events not connected to my job or random bar hopping without a purpose — meaning if I’m going to a bar, there better be a game on!! Or some speed-dating which I will be experimenting with on Jan. 23…There will be video. Stick around.

In other stuff, last night I went to an opera event with this lady I met in an art group I’m a member of. They are all older than me, but I leave a little wiser each time I attend their meetings. Well this lady is about 74 but she’s really cool. She invited me to this French singing performance as her guest and she introduced me to some folks. She also said she would try to get me in touch with people who can help me promote my work. Who knows. Maybe I’ll get out of Texas one day afterall. You never know. Anyway, even though there was an age gap (she kept telling stories which started with “You are probably too young to remember this” and that), I felt that I needed to go to the event just to kick off a long line of things I plan to attend in the future so I can put myself out there — something I need to do more of to see what else ticks in this world other than all I’ve known in the last 29 years. It’s just about the best fresh start I need.

How ya like that women’s vote now?

Hilary Clinton just got it wrong. Women aren’t the women of yesteryear. They don’t care that you get along with your mother. They don’t care that you support women’s rights. All of that in the end never shows in a presidency really except when we finally even GOT the right to vote. They DO care about what’s best for America though and apparently Hilary isn’t it.  I’m not really sure I think Obama is either but Iowa has spoken. And I saw it coming.

I’m not going to deny that I’m a little pleased a black man got past that mostly white state at last night’s caucus. But only because of the principle. It says a lot. It’s seems obvious that Obama showed something that got beyond race and THAT’S what pleases me. That doesn’t mean I will vote for him if it comes down to it just because I’m a black chick. It just means a little history has been made. The same goes for Hilary. I’m not going to vote for a woman just to vote for a woman. I just think today’s voting society, though still very disjointed, is a bit more intelligent than to vote just based on race or gender. Or at least I hope. Yesterday’s results kind of proves that though. Can’t really say Iowa pushed Obama through because he’s black. Please prepare to say I’m wrong though.

As for Huckabee. I don’t even have the time right now to discuss my fears of his win. We’ve still got New Hampshire but you know what they say–you win in Iowa, you win the presidency. Not really true though. Seems Bill squeaked by all those years ago.

Day 72: Wipe down your equipment

I’ve started counting calories…reluctantly.

The working out has been steady but I’ve been under the delusion that I’ve been eating the right portions of everything. Wrong. Of course wrong! I’ve been counting calories for a little more than a week and have already lost enough inches for the owner of this cafe across the street from my job to ask, “Have you lost weight?”

I didn’t just jump on this calorie thing. I did it kicking and screaming until my mother bought and gave me several books to help me along. And some notebooks to keep track. I’m staying at no more than 2,000 calories and I’ve done quite well. It doesn’t even annoy me that much anymore and I’ve lost a few of my hard and fast cravings: burgers, pizza…Sonic slushes. Wait. Now that I’ve typed that I need to find the calorie count for one because a slush suddenly sounds good…

Anyway, my mother has noted my progress. She is concerned for me because I’ve been so concerned. Because of medication and a thyroid disorder, she has trouble with her weight. In fact she is very good at managing food intake and now I’m in training. I’m only a pound away from dropping under the dreaded weight I am now which, no matter how disclosing I am here, I will never share. At least not until I am well below it.

Because of overdoing the reception on Saturday and dancing all night, I haven’t hit the gym. I am only just now nearly 100 percent from having all that nausea. I don’t think a hangover lasts that long and I’m now convinced I got food poisoning from the all of six bites of Chinese food I had that night after the club. Or maybe it’s because I haven’t been doing that kind of food and my body went into shock. Don’t know.

The last time I went to the gym my favorite treadmill was covered in snot and spit. No lie! It was like someone was so determined to finish their miles that they didn’t care they had an upper-respiratory infection or other funky health issue in the process. It was so sick I almost didn’t work out. But instead I grabbed on to the very dry elliptical machine and tried not to heave. I don’t know why I shared that except to give warning to all of you who work out and like to grab onto those heart-rate bars like I do. Never again.

I’m not gonna be famous, but I can dream…

So this weekend is yet another moment of truth. The reception for my first solo photography show. I can only hope everyone will buy up everything to justify my purchases today at a designer sample sale. I should not be left alone with certain jewelry. Anywho, I’m no David LaChapelle at the moment but I’ve already sold a piece and the pictures have only been up since Monday. And I’ve sold others in a previous shared exhibit. Maybe I’m not so bad. You can be the judge. Bagel of Everything over at Ration Reality was so very kind enough to give me a plug under their NEWS section. Thanks lady.

The next goal is getting my dream macro lens and snap better shots. People go on and on about the “eye” being more important than the equipment but let’s get real. You may have a wonderful eye but limited equipment that can’t produce what the eye wants to capture. Currently my main lens is this 50 prime you see before you. However it was taken by my “dream” lens: the Nikon 105mm f/2.8 with VR. All that mumbo jumbo basically means kick ass but there’s lots better out there however over $700 is more than enough of a start. At least that is the translation I’m sticking with. If you look at the reviews of the product, there is one complainer but he’s not using it right. This baby isn’t a portrait lens (my prime is) and that is why I want it. It produces AMAZING macro shots. Sorry, I’m babbling again while drooling over glass.

Wish me luck tomorrow. And feel free to buy stuff from my site if you want Christmas gifts that didn’t come from Target. I’m excited and very anxious about the reception. I’ve saved all my calories for the wine I’m drinking tonight for the nerves. My next post shall discuss the cruelty of counting calories, however two more pounds lost so far…

Day 53: The moment of truth

Happy Gobble Gobble Day everyone.

I hope you have stayed thankful today. I have. I’m thankful I worked my brains out for over a week to get to this day and not be as worried about the food. I’m sitting here at the family’s house now, just pondering all that dressing. That’s the best part. Mom’s dressing. And I’m sore as hell all over from overdoing the routine so I can avoid the guilt of stuffing my face — so to speak.

I brought a little something too. Sweet Potato Thangs. Out here the lady who makes them also made a life-sized bride cake. We did a story on her and her family, both are absolutely delightful. And so are these “thangs,” which by the way I’m about to gobble on as soon as I’m done here. Come Day 54, trust and believe I’ll be hitting the gym before other day-off festivities begin. Namely the birthday celebration I’m concocting for one of my friends which can only mean more calories — only this time calories brought on by martinis.

I hope you are all having a pleasant day of merriment and that you won’t overdo it like I plan hope not to do.

Day 50: Perfectly healthy fatty

I got the results of my physical today. I will admit that I kind of wanted the doctor to tell me I had a slow thyroid or something. Not because I get off on the idea of being sick. And I know thyroid disorders are no walk in the park. My mother has a very poor thyroid and because she has other ailments, all of the pills she takes keep her pretty much severely overweight. I try every day to avoid such a fate. The only reason I wanted to have something wrong was because I would be able to hang my hat on that as a reason I am thick gal. And not just genetics. I was ready for the doctor to tell me there was a problem, get on the meds to “fix” it, combine it all with my eating and fitness habits and just watch the pounds drop like the bad baggage I never wanted — like this girl a work’s friend did. I know that’s silly. Why would I wish for an illness anyway? Really stupid.

Well turns out I have a completely clean bill of health. Cholesterol, blood sugar, thyroid, blood pressure — every damn thing under the sun checks out to be good. Better than good. Pretty much perfect. I should be elated. I am I guess. But as you know I’m kind of impatient and I’m really trying to achieve a better body. I’ve even started walking to the store which is what I did on Day 48. I walked to the store and then went to the gym to work out for another 45 minutes. Today I walked to the doctor and worked out for another hour.

My doctor prescribed an appetite suppressant for me and did so kind of reluctantly. She said I was a pretty girl, healthy and young. She told me it wasn’t too late to get on the right path. She kind of felt like I was too hard on myself. I think she is right. But I have to be hard on myself because it’s pushing me to do this — and finally the right way and make it stick. However I should lay off a bit. There are plenty of people in the world just waiting to give me a hard time without me doing it. And giving me bad advice. Case in point: The Central Market “nutrition” lady. She was the chick who told me to get on coconut oil. My doctor is from India (I think!) and said that a particular region in India that uses a lot of coconut oil in their cooking have cholesterol and heart problems! She said coconut oil is full of saturated fat — the kind that clogs your arteries and told me to stop taking it. Now how’s that for a close one? I’ve been taking those damn pills for more than two weeks!!!

I’m keeping my spirits up though. Many of you have been very encouraging as well. But let me tell you a quick story. Or more like set up a scenario for you: Say you are walking to lunch behind several coworkers quite smaller than you and without really meaning to, you start staring at the fact that freakishly none of them have thighs that touch a single moment while walking. Shit. What does that feel like?

Uh oh. I’m shaping young minds!

Yesterday was very serial. So much so that I forwent writing about the city council here or Ellen’s stupid crying about a dog (topics I planned to write about today.) I woke up this morning still thinking about it so I decided to write.

I was asked to speak to a high school in the community I cover. I always get nervous when I’m asked to do these things. Because today’s teens are definitely not yesterday’s teens — they know so much more and don’t tolerate the same things we used to. I also get a little nervous because being that I’m still fumbling along in this industry, even though in a much better role now, so I just can’t help wondering how in the world am I supposed to shape young minds about journalism when I’m still trucking along myself. I’m not a shy person as I’m sure you have guessed but knowing these two things when I’m in front of a classroom gives me the shakes.

Also they had to take notes. So the moment I started talking — I stopped. Then laughed that they had to take notes. Good start so far. Everyone laughed right along. I told of my triumphs and many tribulations — as I believe the teacher had wanted me to. I even revealed that I was a cocktail waitress for a time while freelancing. I gave them the goods. And man the questions they asked! Even the teacher. I tap-danced through some of them because they were along the lines of “what will happen to journalism’s integrity.” Hum…I wanted to have our official bigwig next to me for some of those questions, but I managed and heads nodded and notes were written. As I gave many of my answers I kept thinking, “Is that me saying this?” because they weren’t exactly bad or ridiculously misguided. I think I did alright and a lot of the girls said they liked my outfit, which was the most important thing for me to get right before walking in the room. You know how teen girls can be about fashion!

It just didn’t seem that long ago that I was in their place, sitting there listening to a guest speaker. Very serial and it struck a cord in my heart because I envied them so much. Just to be in that school desk, knowing what I know now would be a gift. I even told them so. I warned them of everything in this industry and the plus of the whole “high” of it. I warned them to take all the classes I didn’t — video editing, page building. I pushed them on internships and the importance of knowing what you have a passion for over the money it can bring. And they seemed entertained and hopefully left with their heads no longer in clouds about how quickly they will be in a significant role in their future careers.

Once upon a very long time ago, I wanted to be a teacher. But as things pushed along (a broken engagement and some hard-knock lessons learned) I wandered down to the basement of my college and filled out the application to be a reporter for the school paper. Addicted ever since except the small moments in which I’m in a classroom. This will sound very sappy so I warn you, but somehow being in that room with bright, eager faces ready to learn, I wonder what I may have missed not being teacher and what kind of one I would have been.