Resolutions: Pointless yet expected

Last year I posted my resolutions. I even went as far as making a page on here about them. I can pretty much say if sticking to resolutions were a class I probably made a C- or maybe a D? You can read them all here. But I’m going to recap.

1. Never watch Beaches again. Reminds me too much of a friend I miss dearly. (Check. And that friend and I are in the same zip code now.)

2. Stop yelling every time something doesn’t go my way. (I did pretty well with this one…)

3. Here’s the most common of all: Lose a total of 30 pounds by next year. (Well this didn’t happen. But you can read why here. All I have to say is I have an Oprah excuse.)

4. Keep up calorie-counting. (Um yeah…that got old.)

5. Get over the things I can’t change. That’s a big one. (Bombed.)

6. Make myself more available when it comes to sparking new relationships. It’s time I’ve found grown up events and places (i.e. not bars) to frequent to nab me a man…(First part. Yes. Second part…um yea.)

7. MAKE MORE MONEY. (This did happen. And my photography helped a little as well.)

8. Travel. No excuses of money, time or if I can get people to join me.  (My three-month stint at “love” took me to Vegas.)

9. Get my dream lens…at all costs. A new camera won’t hurt either.  (Check and check. But now I have another dream lens I want.)

10. Complain less. That’s a hard one so I have one caveat: Complain less to people in person and get it all out on my blog.  (I did pretty damn good with this one, considering where I had to start. Only I wish that I blogged more.)

So I’m ready to get going on this year’s set of resolutions that I am going to work like hell to actually complete. This is a new year that I have been waiting for all last year. Last year was a real challenge.

Read my 2009 list after the jump…

Holy s***! I bought a house…

Well actually a townhouse but it’s still the same really…responsibility and upkeep. I suppose the feeling I should be having here is excitement. And to many degrees, I do have that particular sentiment. But overall I am more to the point — numb. I can’t believe the grueling process is over. It started with hopes of receiving a forgivable loan from the City of Dallas. I may have a pretty fun job, but the pay isn’t that great.

 

 Well, I qualified for a program that allowed me to receive $10,000 from the City of Dallas if I:

A.) Found a home in Dallas, of course.

B.) Take homeowner classes.

C.) Live in the home at least 8 years.

It seemed perfect. But right in the middle of my offer to the townhouse I wanted, they pulled the funding. They now exclusively offer the funding, even at a better rate, for the homes that are in their system, which means I wouldn’t be able to just find a place — it had to be on the city’s list of homes they are trying to sell. I decided to give up.

Then in May my realtor calls me and tells me that the townhouse I wanted — the one I had originally put an offer down on — dropped $10,000. It just seemed meant, but not without a few hiccups. Namely the appraisal came in under the sales price and there were a few repairs that had to be taken care of such as a few breaker issues. And even after all that, I sat at the title company’s table of endless papers and began signing. Then my realtor points out a taxing discrepancy. Would it ever end?!

The next day I finally got the keys and my family and I went out to dinner to celebrate with my realtor. We had some crazy times together so I felt it only fitting to pay for our dinner. Confession: actually dad made me but I was gonna pay — promise! As well as the fact that I am sure I was very small potatoes in the scheme of clients for my realtor. After all the trouble we went through, all of his concerns and looking out for my best interest, I just don’t think his commission from it all is that spectacular but he’s quite a humble man. And anyone who could put up with my tastes and demands deserves more than a gold star. I mean I am really particular about what I call, and I think the industry calls, “wet areas.” That basically means I’m a stinker about kitchens and bathrooms. But considering my choices of price range, and my particulars about what I wanted, I think I did pretty good.

So here I am — outside of my very own place (please excuse my casual attire…not my normal look I assure you.)  Sure the neighborhood isn’t the Ritz but it’s a place that really suites me. And I’m happy to call it home. But all this means is I’ll be pretty preoccupied between medical appointments and cleaning/preparing the new place. Blogging will be a tough one in the next few weeks, but I’ll still try to make time to blather about.

Day 121: Countdown to a Hotter 30 (results show)

I started Oct. 1.

I wanted to kick start a new fitness/nutrition routine before the holidays and continue throughout the year. I called it Countdown to a Hotter 30. Well on Jan. 27 I turned 30. And though the countdown is over, I’m not done with my improvement. I think the below photo started my whirlwind of changing my habits: no more Sonic breakfasts, no more large ANYTHING, more homemade food, more working out. I’m not going to tell you where the scales tipped in this photo! Circa late summer 2007.

It was taken at a friend’s birthday party. I remember what I ate. I think I knew even that day that I was feeling heavier than the year before. And I forwent the enchiladas though I think I had my share of margaritas and mojitos anyway.

I’ve spent over 100 days working at my goal of dropping some of my lard-ass and it was tough considering I started just before the crazy holidays. Boy that sucked. I hardly took home any leftovers at any function. In fact I threw out some things I took home from a Halloween party as to avoid temptation. I will say that if I had started my calorie counting on day one instead of just two months ago, my progress would have been better. So drum-roll please….

Total pounds lost: 8

All over inches lost: About 3

Big whoop, I know. And I’m STILL not tiny. And I probably never will be. Besides, I just want to be smaller and more importantly, keep my clean bill of health. Tiny and me aren’t really realistic unless you are talking about my voice, ankles and wrists! But most of my clothes are more and more loose by each month. Even though these aren’t exactly the results I wanted in nearly four months, I can definitely say they aren’t bad being that I started at a really dumb time — the time when everyone gains at least 10 pounds in turkey, stuffing and pumpkin pie!

Well there it is.  And obviously I’m not done. I’ve decided not to give myself another deadline, but rather keep up the work I’ve done. I don’t deprive myself. But I don’t overdo it anymore. Never really gave much thought to kid sizes at the drive-through — what a difference! And I’ve saved the “bad days” for Saturday only (with the exception of my birthday dinners this week!) But I told my family NO BIRTHDAY CAKE. 

I went kicking and screaming when my mother suggested counting calories. But it was the best thing she ever made me do. I’ve since decreased my intake from 2,000 calories a day to 1,500, which isn’t that different. At night I crave less and drink more water.

So here’s to just keeping healthy in 2008. And hopefully, sticking with a good enough outlook of myself so I won’t even want to go back to bad habits!  Stay with me though, I will update any continued progress here and there…

They just keep pulling me back in…

One thing I can’t stand — non-responsiveness. OK. Believe me. I’ve been slacking on my normal reads here but I’m working on that. But what I’m talking about is when someone reaches out to you and then when you answer back, they fall flat. I mean when they had a need for what you can offer and then they just leave you there…

That is what has happened in my latest “prospect” into another position elsewhere. The person I emailed my resume to emailed me shortly after and wanted to schedule a phone interview. When I gave the times I was available, I’ve heard absolutely nothing back. It will be almost a week from when I emailed. I’m still holding out but I guess I just don’t get why potential employers do this. I suppose it’s because of the “something better came along” factor. OK. I can live with that. Just let me know. Don’t leave me hanging. But who am I to dictate…?

So back at the work front things are getting better — again. I know why I’m doing what I’m doing but I guess I started wondering if I need to keep doing it beyond just the realization that a roof over my head is a pretty sweet deal.  I know there’s more to it than that. There always has been. I’ve been doing what I set out to do to try to stay motivated. And getting creative is just about one of the only things that’s keeping me going…

But for now it seems that the ever familir “they” have pulled me back in…the resume fury has ended.

Can’t get away fast enough…

I think that in a past life I was some kind of wood nymph or a bit of wind that moves leaves about and messes up your hair. No. I’m not getting corny on you. I’m just trying to come to grips with the fact I can’t seem to be content in the same spot for very long. Or at least the same spot that isn’t offering much in line of, well — life…

Ever see that movie Chocolat? I kind of feel like that. Like I need to keep moving…

With new developments at work, my life and the fact that I’m always wanting to see and learn more, I’ve pondered a few potential places of relocation. Because of it, I’ve not been a very good blog friend and need to catch up on all my reading here. I’ve been quite busy on journalismjobs.com. First pondered move? Alaska. That’s right. All I can keep thinking about is the beautiful scenery of Juneau. The photographic possibilities are ENDLESS…

There are other places too. I’ve received some interest per email and will let you know what turns up. What may turn up is nothing. And I stay here in the scenery flat tumbleweed of Texas. But I’m still seeking everything out like some kind of driftwood who has had just about enough of her share of being banged up against all the currents. 

I know life isn’t smooth anywhere you go. But if that’s the case, I at least want to be doing my not-so-smooth life somewhere with potential beyond the newest bottle service, overly priced martini lounge.

Resolutions: Dumb. I know.

Resolutions are kind of silly. I’ll admit that. Why do we insist on making a vow to ourselves to change things that haven’t been going right and decide the best time is at the year’s end and not while the year was happening? I guess it’s all perspective. And for me, this year, I really needed to do it. 2007 kind of hurt. Actually it was like taking a sledgehammer to the head.

2008 is about the best clean slate I could ask for. And even though I suppose it’s pretty generic to post your resolutions on your blog, I need to…just to keep my ass in line.

1. Never watch Beaches again. Reminds me too much of a friend I miss dearly.

2. Stop yelling every time something doesn’t go my way. I have a nasty habit of that and I think that is only appropriate for toddlers and even then…

3. Here’s the most common of all: Lose a total of 30 pounds by next year. Since I’ve already lost five, I’ve got 25 more to go. I wouldn’t mind a few more inches lost, of course, along the way.

4. Keep up calorie-counting. You just never know how much you tuck in until you sit down and write it all on paper.

5. Get over the things I can’t change. That’s a big one.

6. Make myself more available when it comes to sparking new relationships. It’s time I’ve found grown up events and places (i.e. not bars) to frequent to nab me a man…

7. MAKE MORE MONEY: I need to step up to the plate and display my worth a little more. Or else find somewhere else that will appreciate it.

8. Travel. No excuses of money, time or if I can get people to join me. I just NEED TO DO IT.

9. Get my dream lens…at all costs. A new camera won’t hurt either. I’m behind the times.

10. Complain less. That’s a hard one so I have one caveat: Complain less to people in person and get it all out on my blog. This resolution needs like five gold stars next to it.

These are in no particular order but obviously when we write things down, we go in order of what popped in our heads first. So you be the judge. Plus I’m pretty sure I’ve got so many flaws, faults and habits that warrant changing. And goals I need to reach. But I can only do these ten at a time. Or at least I hope.

Day 90: I still have a month to go…

OK. Yes I know this is not a complete full photo…again. I don’t have a full-length mirror in my home if you can believe that. And I always forget to tell people to take a full photo of me when I’m out or at work. But I will make sure to get “the” final shot done by someone. A full one. I do have one though, in pajamas. And let’s just say I would never share it here! I think that once I’m done with this on the last day of the countdown which is my birthday — January 27 — I will recruit a work friend to do it. The office already knows what I’m up to. And they know how to properly use my camera.

But one thing you should know about his photo. I’m notorious for turning my head to make my face look smaller. In this photo I am shooting dead one — no super-cool camera angles, shooting above or photo-shopping. This is me. And my new glasses. Well, and funky hair. On average I hate taking a photo dead on.

So far I’ve lost five pounds. My arms have a little more definition. My mother said my bum looked smaller. Trust me. She doesn’t give those observations lightly! And I can’t be sure but I think I’ve lost at least two inches. All I know is that all my jeans fit a tad more loose which I’m guesstimating it’s about two inches more room. I feel so dumb but I didn’t take my measurements prior to starting this. But over the holiday my mother did and notated where I’m at now so by the end of January we’ll have some kind of accurate gage.

Another thing that doesn’t quite set right with me yet is that it’s been nearly 100 days and this isn’t 10 pounds lost! But I guess that’s not bad considering I started this in the triple threat holiday season and I didn’t gain a pound during all the temptation. Got to pat my back for something I guess…

Time bandits and promises

For a while now my parents and I stopped doing the big old gift exchange during the holidays. My father has always said, “Christmas is for kids.” It also doesn’t hurt that they bought me a washer and dryer this year. At that rate my father usually says, “You have Christmas all year anyway.”
So instead we usually do the large dinner and I decorate my own apartment — filling it to the brim with Christmas lights and garland. This year I took my Christmas tree over to their house. And I bought them both two presents. My mother seemed pleased but looked at me disapprovingly — begging to know how much I spent. To that I just said,
“You guys have done so much for me. Just let me do this for you.”
I made dad open his early. I was too eager. So on Christmas Eve I saw his eyes light up to the DVD of Time Bandits I bought him. We watched that movie so much, I grew up saying, “The little one?” If you have seen the movie you know what I’m talking about. There are these six little people and well, nevermind. Just know we quote this movie on a semi-regular.
My parents have the movie on one of those huge laser disk things. Not the sleek ones you see today. But the ones that looked like enormous 8-tracks. You had to inject the disks into this contraption and pull down a little lever. My parents still have a bunch of classics in those crazy things (The Muppet Movie, Star Wars, Richard Pryer’s Raw) but the old player doesn’t work anymore, of course. I spent years in my late teens, early 20s looking for Time Bandits on video cassette and could never find it. And then there it was, among all the other DVDs at Borders. Duh.
On to mom. One of the things I got her was a new cookbook. I bought her Nigella Lawson because I was sure she already had all the others — The Barefoot Contessa, Paula Deen, Tyler Florence …But I was wrong. She didn’t have any of them! Just Rachael Ray who I HATE! Anyway, I offered to exchange it but she wouldn’t have it. She was happy to see a different Food Network star in her hands. Which if you know my mother, you would know that she will just read the book but not use it. She likes to sit and read cookbooks. Her arthritis and feet are so bad now and combined with her extra weight, it is hard for her to stand at long periods of time. In fact this was one year that Christmas dinner was a complete chore and she elected my father and me to help. We didn’t start eating until nearly 3 p.m.! But every year she insists on cooking. And every year she complains more and more.

So I said that I was going to cook next year — at my apartment. I hate cooking in someone else’s kitchen. I told her she has a whole year to train in order to be able to go up my stairs. In return I promised a wonderful meal in a lovely Christmas setting. Dad of course will bring his famous cabbage and greens. As for the turkey, that’s going to be cooked at a local restaurant that does that kind of thing. No need in me taking on EVERYTHING quite yet. A turkey? By myself? Hell no.

Day 72: Wipe down your equipment

I’ve started counting calories…reluctantly.

The working out has been steady but I’ve been under the delusion that I’ve been eating the right portions of everything. Wrong. Of course wrong! I’ve been counting calories for a little more than a week and have already lost enough inches for the owner of this cafe across the street from my job to ask, “Have you lost weight?”

I didn’t just jump on this calorie thing. I did it kicking and screaming until my mother bought and gave me several books to help me along. And some notebooks to keep track. I’m staying at no more than 2,000 calories and I’ve done quite well. It doesn’t even annoy me that much anymore and I’ve lost a few of my hard and fast cravings: burgers, pizza…Sonic slushes. Wait. Now that I’ve typed that I need to find the calorie count for one because a slush suddenly sounds good…

Anyway, my mother has noted my progress. She is concerned for me because I’ve been so concerned. Because of medication and a thyroid disorder, she has trouble with her weight. In fact she is very good at managing food intake and now I’m in training. I’m only a pound away from dropping under the dreaded weight I am now which, no matter how disclosing I am here, I will never share. At least not until I am well below it.

Because of overdoing the reception on Saturday and dancing all night, I haven’t hit the gym. I am only just now nearly 100 percent from having all that nausea. I don’t think a hangover lasts that long and I’m now convinced I got food poisoning from the all of six bites of Chinese food I had that night after the club. Or maybe it’s because I haven’t been doing that kind of food and my body went into shock. Don’t know.

The last time I went to the gym my favorite treadmill was covered in snot and spit. No lie! It was like someone was so determined to finish their miles that they didn’t care they had an upper-respiratory infection or other funky health issue in the process. It was so sick I almost didn’t work out. But instead I grabbed on to the very dry elliptical machine and tried not to heave. I don’t know why I shared that except to give warning to all of you who work out and like to grab onto those heart-rate bars like I do. Never again.

I’m not gonna be famous, but I can dream…

So this weekend is yet another moment of truth. The reception for my first solo photography show. I can only hope everyone will buy up everything to justify my purchases today at a designer sample sale. I should not be left alone with certain jewelry. Anywho, I’m no David LaChapelle at the moment but I’ve already sold a piece and the pictures have only been up since Monday. And I’ve sold others in a previous shared exhibit. Maybe I’m not so bad. You can be the judge. Bagel of Everything over at Ration Reality was so very kind enough to give me a plug under their NEWS section. Thanks lady.

The next goal is getting my dream macro lens and snap better shots. People go on and on about the “eye” being more important than the equipment but let’s get real. You may have a wonderful eye but limited equipment that can’t produce what the eye wants to capture. Currently my main lens is this 50 prime you see before you. However it was taken by my “dream” lens: the Nikon 105mm f/2.8 with VR. All that mumbo jumbo basically means kick ass but there’s lots better out there however over $700 is more than enough of a start. At least that is the translation I’m sticking with. If you look at the reviews of the product, there is one complainer but he’s not using it right. This baby isn’t a portrait lens (my prime is) and that is why I want it. It produces AMAZING macro shots. Sorry, I’m babbling again while drooling over glass.

Wish me luck tomorrow. And feel free to buy stuff from my site if you want Christmas gifts that didn’t come from Target. I’m excited and very anxious about the reception. I’ve saved all my calories for the wine I’m drinking tonight for the nerves. My next post shall discuss the cruelty of counting calories, however two more pounds lost so far…