Archive for the ‘funny’ Category

Stuff white people like…

makes me want to do a blog about what black people like in a white world. Really, some of that crap I like too but I think I’m not supposed to get it since I’m pigmently challenged. So what does that mean? It seems to be a quite popular blog though. More power to it I guess but if they happen to stumble to my meager blog, I would like their thoughts about my question. And I want to know what you all think about it. I understand the humor in it, I think…

But I prefer another blog that pokes fun.

Video: Who hasn’t had a bad prom?

I know I have. If you want to read more about it, go here. But because my job is pretty cool (I have my moments), I got to go get my groove on and still call it work. Please forgive any darkness in the video, we aren’t really at a point of super fancy lighting yet. Ah, maybe one day…

Click the pic

http://www.neighborsgo.com/video/652

The Adventures of Kandace and Aly CAUGHT ON CAMERA!

My day job offers a few highlights in the doldrums of me not really liking Dallas. This video for instance. I shot this video of two girls on my team who are venturing out in our communities, doing little day trips and adventures and generally having an all around good time doing it. You may want to plug your ears, but their Journey rendition is surely, well…unique…

HINT: CLICK THE PHOTO FOR THE VIDEO

http://www.neighborsgo.com/video/576

A naughty skeleton…

HAPPY HALLOWEEN, FOLKS.

It looks like by the end of the day I will have popped my 10,000 hit cherry. To celebrate both the Halloween spirit and my five-digit deflowering, here’s a skeleton with something to show you. Enjoy the festivities!

Halloween and all that jazz…

hal10

So here I am as Velma Kelly from Chicago. Not really sure if I pulled it off but it was cheap — and the costume didn’t cost much either. Haha. As for the bottle of SoCo. Nope, that’s not apple juice as many people at the “party” I was at asked me. That’s me partaking in the good stuff straight from the bottle. Have to stay in character.

My friend Micheal went as Micheal Vick — he wore the jersey and attached a stuffed dog to his leg. Hilarious. As for the festivities, not an earth-shattering night but the conversation was interesting — discussing everything from does it mean you are gay if you spent 10 years in prison and slept with a man to the luxury game of cricket. I’m hoping Halloween night will have some mischief for me to get into.

 

IN GROUND POOP CAN…

Someone please tell me why you would need one?

The trend of posting weirdo-isms is spreading because the things people type in search engines are just damn astounding. I just had to share this one on the fly. An in ground poop can must be useful for camping. I think this resulted from my post about dogs pooping on your dead senators.

Can’t a girl just get a pedicure anymore?

A long time ago someone called me a JAP: Jewish American Princess, which I’m still wondering if this word is considered offensive. Anyway, I’m not Jewish. That is unless I’m related to Sammy Davis, Jr. I think the person felt as if I kept up an image conscious routine which is a nice way for me to just say “high maintenance.” I’m really not though. Really! I just like to take care of myself and many moons ago I used to do the whole thing: acrylic nails, pedicures, weekly eyebrow wax…

I’ve since been more frugal and practical by doing my own nails. They never were bad to begin with but acrylics were so much easier to take care of. The eyebrow stuff I still do but now I take things into my own hands more often so I don’t have to shell out the dough for someone to put me through that pain. But ah. Pedicures. This has been a hard one. First of all I would have never stopped pedicures if it wasn’t for the local news. Beware, this picture is gross.

EWWWWWWWWW!

 

You see because many local nail shops can’t seem to NOT be nasty, refuse to disinfect regularly and aren’t so great about keeping things up to health code standards, the above infection could happen to me — so I’ve told myself. And it just so happens that my FAVORITE shop was dinged for not being up to code so that stopped me in my tracks. Now I go on “recommendations.” My latest stop at a recommended nail salon proved to be an ironic fruitful failure. They did do their share of keeping up the code as far as using plastic lined basins instead of the spa chairs for pedicures — notorious for their breeding ground for infection.

However I couldn’t get past the other stuff: the floor looked kinda like it hadn’t been mopped in several days, the worn lazy boy chairs looked like someone’s grandmother’s house, they reused paraffin wax  and my manicure was less than “clean.” But the pedicure seemed kosher and my toes were somewhat happy. However they didn’t do as good of a job as my OLD place. So now it’s time for another one and as of late I just resort to doing it myself and ignore the recommendations. I am too afraid for what can result from going to a local spa for a pedicure on the fly. But damn I hate doing it myself.

You may bet thinking that this is all superficial. And some of you may say why should any of this matter to your readers who aren’t women? Well because we all know how you guys like a put together woman and with summer not quite yet over, I’m sure you would like to see more feet in good condition as oppose to this:

Did someone say pumice stone, please?!

Feet of Crafty McGee. Sorry girl but I gotta give you credit for the honesty.

Trapped in the closet…

Say it ain’t so.

My favorite channel on the planet IFC is going to air all 20 something parts of R Kelly’s “Trapped in the Closet” saga on Friday. And yes I know it’s R. Kelly. I just hate how that looks for some reason. It looks too, I dunno, important. Anyway. OK, I am a fan of the kooky and sexually charged John Waters films they show on Grindhouse Fridays. And I think maybe it’s the tongue and cheek attitude of IFC that I love the most. But really? R Kelly? Well, it is amusing. I mean all kinds of people are in the closet — a husband, a midget (I mean little person but the video says midget), gay love, all kinds of phones ringing, R Kelly hitting strange pitches in his singing, a bad green screen effect of R Kelly driving and a “sex” scene with his clothes still on.

 OK, OK. I guess I probably will actually watch it…

Here’s an oldie but goodie: The first five parts.

I’m going to admit this is great cinema. I mean, R Kelly still hangs around after the husband comes home and is still there when the male lover comes in. And why does R Kelly have to keep waving the gun around and then keep using his stupid phone? However, Mr. Kelly may deserve an Oscar for playing like 50 parts of this saga — even the chick parts. Who needs Eddie Murphy?

I feel dirty for setting the reminder on my IFC program schedule.

Last one for the week, I promise.

I’m still getting traffic to my blog from people searching Anthony Michael Hall.

quit googling this dude!

And it increases everyday! I’m probably not helping matters by putting up posts like this one, but that LOL generator for blog feeds is so funny to me. I mean they are not even hand-picked by yours truly! They are random and I have no say. But isn’t this one fitting?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

CHEEZBURGER! Give Lily a chance…

Maybe I’m just not clever enough. Or Ms. Tiger Lily just isn’t funny. But she never sees a day on the voting page. Sigh…

Tiger Lily