Posts Tagged ‘life’

“I am a racist…”

How would you react to someone saying that to you? Let alone saying it so a matter of fact that it was equivalent to ordering a cheeseburger. That is what happened to me last night. I’m not going to drag this out or go on about my “hurt” feelings. But you should know this was said to me while handing out fliers for a benefit concert I am helping organize right now.

I went to a local biker hangout to pass out fliers. Before you give way to assumptions, I have known and hung out with some very open-minded and very cool biker folks. I went there thinking I was among friends. Especially because the bar right next to the hangout was one I frequented very often and always felt welcome. Boy, was I naive.

So I handed one particular biker one of the fliers. I guess I should not have disregarded he and his friends’ Confederate flag badges. As much as I hate that symbol, it is also a Southern piece of life here in Texas. And I’ve hung out with many cowboys in my day who didn’t necessarily represent the hatred behind that flag. In fact I guess they tried instead tried to change its image. But in this case, however, I was handed back the flier in an eerily polite fashion and told, “I’m a racist. I won’t be going there.” To that I quipped, “Well, it isn’t a benefit for black people.” Yes. That was me taking the higher road for the cause. But it didn’t matter. He sneered. His friends shook their heads as if to just say “nicely” to “just walk away.” As I did, I made sure to tell him that I don’t buy into the biker stereotype. And how unfortunate to find someone who fit it.

I dish on Las Vegas over at the work blog…

the trip that wasn’t as naughty as i hoped but there is always next time, right…?

As you know already, I’ve been through a trying few weeks. Getting back on track I realized, damn, I literally have to blog at about five places a week! This means that with my decreased normal ferocity, I am not really blogging at all of them equally or every week at the moment. But if you want to read about my Vegas trip, please do at my Cat Lady Rambles blog, which is where I blog for work. Plus now that I’m currently seeing someone (which could change at any moment for all I know because life is always strange), I’m not sure what to do with the singles blog. Is anyone really reading that anyway? I have some interviews lined up for it so I can press on but maybe I should change the name? I dunno.

In addition, I’ve got SO much to catch up on with all of your blogs. I’m behind. I feel like I’m just getting on track at work but still feel a bit behind there too. And this month is super busy. Geez. I feel like I’m bitching a lot over here, huh.  But I guess that is just my life at the moment. Constant change. Never boring. And extremely frustrating. Thank goodness for the written word. I would go flipping coo-coo.

Day 7 and 8: Before you smile you have to cry

The Roots said that best. And they are so right. I nearly had to stop yesterday’s workout because of a potentially throat-grabbing asthma attack. But I pushed through, slowed down a bit and turned up the CD player. Thanks Black Thought. I know I’m better for it. But for shame, today I’m ditching. I’m not getting anywhere with that kind of behavior. According to Stiletto I should be doing this kind of stuff for 45 minutes and according to Anti, do it 4 times a week. I’m doing 4 times a week (well, last week…just started) but the cardio has only been about 30. I’ll work my way I guess. Can I use deadline as an excuse?

Day 5, 6 and Angie Martinez

Photo by Devon CassI listen to just about every genre of music. I’ve even been known to listen to a little old school country. There’s  a station out here Willie Nelson loves and I listen to it daily. That’s about all the music radio I can take really. Then right in the same day I will pop in a Kanye West CD or The Black Rebel Motorcycle Club.

Well I don’t know if you all know who Angie Martinez is but she’s a hot item on New York’s Hot 97 as one of its deejays. Yes I made a shameless pun. And she so happened to have been my Rocky-type motivation music on Day 4 as I cranked it out on the monster elliptical machine. Her album Animal House was a risky hip-hop purchase back in 2002 just basing it on the single “If I Can Go,” but usually I know I’m going to like the whole album or not by a single. Even though I know music heads loathe people that do that. No accounting for taste. Well Angie didn’t disappoint me and although her success is probably considered a little lukewarm compared to today’s crappy music, Animal House was what got me through Day 4.  If you have a workout soundtrack please share.

Anyway, I’m doing a lot of weights and using them to attempt to sculpt out obliques like anti-socialist claims to own. So now my sides are the main part of me that hurts. You ladies out there know what I mean right? That damn fluff of meaty blubber that sits on the side and makes wearing a crisp fitted shirt a risk? (Maybe it’s just me.) I’m starting to feel better already, but I missed Day 5.

Day 5 consisted of me getting the apartment in order. And then a photo shoot that went terribly awry what with rain, mosquitoes, mud and a subject in high-heels. Needless to say we are rescheduling. And needless to say I just felt more like popping open a beer. So that’s what I did. Hey, carrying that heavy camera bag I just upgraded to HAS to count for something.

Update: I’m an idiot. This should read, as it does now, as Day 5 and 6. I’m starting to lose count. I should be looking at that blasted calendar in the sidebar!

“You have 10 profile views…”

Once upon a time in the land of pseudo optimism, I opened an account on a dating site — even though I pride myself on being independent and embracing my single life (*snickers a little…*) I know. I know. But gee, I just ran plum out of places to meet guys I would eventually have nothing in common with. Go figure.

At the time I opened the account it was after a few people in my life convinced me to put myself out there, so I did. Just to see what it was all about. However I’ve since neglected the profile pretty much because I refused to waste my cold cash for the “pleasure” of contacting/responding to an I’m Online smiley face. But because I never turned the email feature off, I was still getting email alerts every time I got profile views or if someone sent me a message. I should have deleted it sooner but left it up just to see what would filter in — partly for laughs but mostly for curiosity.

It’s kind of sad though. One: To even have the profile in the first place. Two: To realize online the same thing you realize in “real” life — looking kind of sucks. I figure it’s just better to lie low and see what happens in your day to day bustle. Well that and the messages below are from guys I’ve attracted and they weren’t a strong case for going the online route. Please note that I have not altered a single word except any phone numbers or “real” names. And nine out of ten of the guys who contacted me were well over my age range (no offense to any readers of a certain age!)

Bonjour and you are joli. Here it is a Sunday night and I have long since been awake. And as I met the Lord this morning in the stillness of this days awakening-I ask Him once again Lord, will today be the day that I find a friend who is looking for me? So after viewing your profile, I ponder for awhile to pay this fee, please allow me to introduce myself I am Chef Joey I am a man who has many gifts and have already reached several of my goals. My life and my love for God have moved me into Next Dimension thinking. “A Man of substance, a hard working man and I do put in many long hours, oh and a character, I get silly at time”. I look forward to the next season of my life, with the one, He prepare for me. I am a classic romantic. Small notes on a pillow, surprise warm baths and hot oil for a weary day. If you want to be romance and spoil, that I can do. I have shared some of my thoughts with you; won’t you take the time to share a few words with me? As I stated in my profile I am open to a real conversation, via telephone. Online chatting/emailing back and forth does absolutely nothing for me. Talk with me, I’d love to hear your voice my number is 555-555-5555.

Signed A. Guy I Need a Translator For AND Probably Needs a Green Card

Prove you wrong? Hmmmmm……….. I guess I can surmise from that, that you just naturally assume you are right . I checked out your website. You have a very discerning eye. You’re very artistic. My artistc talents tend toward the graphic. I enjoy drawing and painting a bit. I would really like to learn more about you. Please check out my profile and if you find it interesting, hit me back. I would love to chat with you.
Have a great day, hope to hear from you soon.

Signed A. Guy Who Said He’s Looking for a Dark-Skinned Beauty (AND WELL OVER 50!)

Granted my profile headline did say, “creative cynic, prove me wrong.” Cheesy, I know. And this guy’s about the most intelligent message I had received. But did I mention he was/is looking for a dark-skinned beauty? WTF???!?!?!

Nice essay…obviously an intelligent, interesting lady. I could probably shoot some stick w/ya…we’ll chat soon…

Signed A. Guy Who Took My Love of Pool to New and OBVIOUS Heights

Hi ,I’m (bleep) i like your pic(s) & profile a little about myself i’m spontaneous,fun loving & witty. I’m open minded and eclectic I enjoy meeting new people going to new places and doing new things.I’d love to hear your story if open to talking drop me a line ….. …have a great day……ciao!

Signed A. Guy I Can’t Believe Signed A Message with Ciao

I could go on but that would just be wrong. It’s only a small taste of the messages I got. You know how Seinfield would be so damn picky about his dates and would find the dumbest things to dump them over? Well I’m not sure if I was really being picky by not responding to these guys but I do know I got the creeps. And even though looks aren’t everything, how hard is it to get a photo of you that isn’t in front of your Driver’s Select  BMW or out of focus, or taken with a cell phone, or obviously from 1985? 

As 30 rears it’s hopefully lovely head, I wonder if I can nab me an 80-year-old hottie who likes billiards, black women and needs me to send money to his far off land so he can come marry me proper.

Wow. I make a really pissed of cat.

Self discovery in a drug store

After work today, I stopped by a local CVS to pick up some photos I had developed.

I don’t shoot film anymore but during the move I discovered three disposable cameras. I shudder at the thought of ever using such awful creations of photography EVER again. The lighting always sucks. Whatever flash built in is mediocre. There is no possibility of a “macro” shot. But I was still curious as to what was on those archaic things. Two of them didn’t have an exploration date — one of them did and it was well past the date of when I decided to have them developed.

I knew what was possibly on them — I knew that at least two of them were from a trip I took about three years ago or so with an ex to San Antonio. The other was a shear mystery. (All of which is why I went to CVS over a better photo shop. Why waste good money?) So given the possible context of the two, I seemed to not think twice about leaving the poor suckers on the passenger seat in my car while I was typing away at work. That was dumb I know but that’s what I did.

So today was the big reveal. I only got about 30 images total that developed. That was either because of my obvious stupid flub about keeping them in the car or the years of neglect in drawers, (possibly a glove box) and cardboard boxes. But alas there they were. Thirty photos of nothing that special: A few pics of me and the ex, some rock formations from the Natural Bridge Caverns in San Antonio and some photos from a birthday party/drag show.

I stood there looking at them after the lady at the counter explained why they didn’t all turn out. I’m used to digital now. The age of film is lost to me. I said my “thank yous” and left the store. When I reached my car I sat a while with those photos in my hands, shuffling them and staring at each strange image. I couldn’t help muttering to myself, “Whose life do these images belong to?”

All the faces in those pictures are no longer who I see. The activities from all of them seem distant memories. Since those photos I’ve made a new life with new people in it. All the while I keep no contact really with anyone in those shots I spent all of $12 and some change to get developed.

I make new memories now. But I’ve been looking back a lot lately of who I was before and who I decided to spend my time with — and still I wonder, who the hell was that?!