Archive for the ‘racism’ Category

“I am a racist…”

How would you react to someone saying that to you? Let alone saying it so a matter of fact that it was equivalent to ordering a cheeseburger. That is what happened to me last night. I’m not going to drag this out or go on about my “hurt” feelings. But you should know this was said to me while handing out fliers for a benefit concert I am helping organize right now.

I went to a local biker hangout to pass out fliers. Before you give way to assumptions, I have known and hung out with some very open-minded and very cool biker folks. I went there thinking I was among friends. Especially because the bar right next to the hangout was one I frequented very often and always felt welcome. Boy, was I naive.

So I handed one particular biker one of the fliers. I guess I should not have disregarded he and his friends’ Confederate flag badges. As much as I hate that symbol, it is also a Southern piece of life here in Texas. And I’ve hung out with many cowboys in my day who didn’t necessarily represent the hatred behind that flag. In fact I guess they tried instead tried to change its image. But in this case, however, I was handed back the flier in an eerily polite fashion and told, “I’m a racist. I won’t be going there.” To that I quipped, “Well, it isn’t a benefit for black people.” Yes. That was me taking the higher road for the cause. But it didn’t matter. He sneered. His friends shook their heads as if to just say “nicely” to “just walk away.” As I did, I made sure to tell him that I don’t buy into the biker stereotype. And how unfortunate to find someone who fit it.

“Wright” and wrong

I just didn’t want to do this. Not another post about race. Feel free to peruse past posts here where I have spoken out against how race shouldn’t matter in the scheme of things. But here we are again, and this time in regards to presidential hopeful Barak Obama. Surprise, surprise.

The remarks of Sen. Obama’s pastor Jeremiah Wright are not only embarrassing but have set us back quite a pace. Stating that blacks should “damn” America instead of bless it is not only presumptuous but it’s a self-indulgent statement. How can he speak for me as a black American? Scratch that. An American. I know that in the times not too far from my own, I would not be sitting here, writing this to you all, living the life that I live today. We have our issues of race, unfortunately, but we are still leaps and bounds beyond where we were.

But maybe I’m wrong. If race was no longer the issue it was centuries ago, why are we even here now? Here RIGHT now with a half-black man who may very well be president. Everything that has surrounded this candidate has been shrouded in a cloak of racial separation. Is he black enough? Is he too black? I want to believe we are in an America that we can look pass all of this but obviously we aren’t. On all sides — whether it be the Pastor Wrights in the world or the David Dukes.

I am not saying that Obama didn’t have to speak up for his stance on his pastor’s words. They were sorely off track and because everyone became aware of this pastor’s thoughts, Obama HAD to discuss it. However, I think the reason this has become such a grand deal is because of Obama’s ethnicity. No. Half of it. I don’t think Mitt Romney had to face this kind of attack when he was questioned on being a Mormon. Not exactly the same comparison given Pastor Wright’s remarks, but if we are going to make the connection of what happens in a person’s place of worship, we should be looking at everyone’s place of faith. Not just the select few.

Religious leaders say a slough of things we don’t usually agree with — every week. Right now there is probably someone’s priest molesting a child, somene’s reverend having an affair, someone’s pastor saying something ignorant. Oh yea. That already happened…

Let’s start worrying about who is going to pull us out of this war.

Black women and white men…

I gotta tell you; I’ve not had any slowing down of my old post about interracial dating. It still gets a fair amount of hits. This isn’t a call for all of you jokesters to start finding more weird search engine terms to get to this blog and then for me to write about them.  But for some reason I get on a daily basis at least a dozen search engine terms looking for a variety of topics surrounding black women and white men dating. And lately Jewish men dating black women. WTF? Is this really THAT taboo still? I’ve dated the rainbow, as I’ve told you before, and I just never really saw dating a white man a big deal. Does the rest of society?

I will be honest though. I’m thinking the resurgence of this topic is because of the opposite happening: black men and white women. I’m not going to do some census search on this but I’m just thinking about my every day life in Texas. I see an increasing number of black men and white women coupled up. I don’t have a problem with this but I can only imagine that the two left are looking at each other, shrugging and saying, “Well, why don’t we?”

That said though, there is still so much hesitation. Believe me. White men dating black women isn’t very common here. Not sure about your area of the world. I really dig shows like “Private Practice” that treat interracial connections as something that isn’t a matter of discussion. The main discussion on that show is that the lead black female character has to choose between two men — a black one she was married to and a white one who loves her so much that is the only reason he works in the office. Race isn’t an issue. I can’t stand shows that make that the MAIN issue. The tired old story of “what will my parents think?” Aren’t we over this yet? I just don’t get it.

So for those of you searching to see if this is some “strange” concept, stop. Just go with it. Ask that black chick out. Ask that white dude out. Enjoy Hanukkah with that chocolate hottie…

WTF are you waiting for?

A noose at Columbia?!

Jena. Yes at Jena. There is no excuse for it, but that is the South. I live in the South. I know the South.

Call me an idealist, but New York has always represented a sense of freedom, beauty, opportunity and open-mindedness to me. Am I wrong? Yet another noose. Yet ANOTHER ONE at Columbia University of all places. A very distraught Madonna Constantine, the black professor who found the noose on her door, was on Good Morning America this morning–talking to Robin Roberts (my idol), which is ironic because the fact that we see black journalists everyday should show we are in another world compared to what the 50s had to offer. Anyway, the professor said one of the main things she felt was embarrassed though she said she had nothing to be embarrassed about. I’m embarrassed too.

You all know that I hate the race card. And that I don’t like to go on and on about “the black plight.” But this HAS to stop. Why is the world so hateful? I’m continuing my lose of faith in people. And this resurgence of “the noose” is childish at best, dangerous to our country’s progression at worse. I have been pretty lucky because I can’t think of a major incident in my life where I was the victim of racism. To be honest my racism had mostly been by other blacks telling me I wasn’t black enough. Very different problem. My parents however were old enough to experience racism while living in Lubbock, Texas. My mother and her siblings went for ice cream only to discover their vanilla scoops were in fact Crisco. Both of my parents also remember the segregation, the separate water fountains.

I feel so very blessed (I say blessed…even as an agnostic). I’m blessed because I know that the opportunities and the life I have today is a direct result of people who fought for what I have. But I’m fearing that we are going backwards. Not just with something like a fool hanging a noose but this is going to create more of those “movements” I despise. I don’t want to see a 1960s-like movement everytime such actions like this one are taken. I think we can solve this without a march. I think if we just EDUCATE. Show the face of racism and humiliate it. I want to see everyone banded together and speaking out in the community. Marches just get written off as “oh, there THEY go again.” But if you take actions to educate, whether that is in school or town hall meetings, maybe something can be done? But then again, maybe I’m being an idealist like I said before. And because I’m just starting and continuing to feel quite disappointed in people, I might just join a march if there is one to be a part of. I’m tired. I’m just so tired of it.

You probably think you are being cute…

But whoever has so much fucking time to sit and see what words to put together to reach my blog and then wait to see if I get pissed is a pathetic waste of life and space on this planet. I don’t have a problem calling people out when they are acting like sheer morons. Sometimes I even reward those morons and find a way to publicly humiliate them in return for giving everyone the pleasure of displaying their stupidity right there on the sleeve.

A few references to something gross or ridiculous to get to my blog, I laugh at and move on. I have even gotten over the fact that someone Googles about 15 TIMES DAILY stuff about interracial dating, black women and white men, and if black women are approachable to get to this shit everyday. That I can deal with by shaking my head. But when someone puts NIGGER DAY STATE FAIR TEXAS together to see if my blog will pop up, I will have to say you can suck it, then eat it, choke on it and then gag to death.  YOU, whoever you are, have way too much time on your hands and needs either a job, a life or a hobby. Contact me because I’m sure I can find something for you to do.

Thanks for letting me rant because sometimes this bitch just needs to grab by the balls.

Smooches,

Arm

I won’t be turning in my “black card.”

I didn’t write about the Jena 6.

In all honesty I just didn’t and don’t know exactly how I feel about it. No need to rehash the details because by now, unless you live under a rock, you know the story the media has given and CAN give us. I’m a journalist but I can agree that everything seemed to really escalate with all the coverage. That said, reporters just do their jobs. It’s a hot topic and if your media outlet isn’t covering it, there went their ratings. 

Let me just get some things straight though — I don’t think the original charges fit the crime, which have since been reduced. I feel that such charges were too harsh for clobbering a guy who ended up at a school function later that day. But if that doesn’t convince you, think of the possible scenario if the charges had stuck. Young men in jail for 20 years is asking for trouble. Not only for the families but our communities. When a guy sits in the hole for 20 years at an early age, many times they aren’t thinking about reforming while there and even if they do reform, a lot of times they come out bitter, angry, confused and have a horrible time finding work. Then they become a problem financially for all of us when they can’t get a job because of their record. 

But I also know racism still exists. I write about it here quite a bit because sadly the topic keeps coming up. And I know those three nooses hanging from that tree were more than just freedom of speech. They hung there as a message of hatred and ignorance. However violence only feeds the ignorance and beating up that white kid was the worse thing those boys allegedly did.

I still will not hang my hat on what I’ve been told happened but the end result doesn’t change: Someone got severely injured at the hands of sheer violence and that’s  a crime. These are all reasons why I didn’t write about this topic. It was one time out of a few that shooting from the hip gave me pause. Because to most people who support The Jena 6, I might as well turn in my “black card.”

But here is something interesting. Now we are being told that one of the 6 allegedly had myspace pics up with him brandishing money. The opposing side is surely going to use them for their case and there is even a Neo-Nazi site (I’m not posting that link obviously) who has them up. The myspace has since been deleted.

There is speculation that the money came from donations to support legal fees for the 6. But I’m not going to assume anything. You be the judge and we will all wait to find out the truth eventually. But you know young teen boys. Teenagers are real do now, suffer the consequences later types (you know that if you’ve got young ones at home) and all this publicity has just GOT to have those kids feeling kind of invincible. I mean wouldn’t you?? If people from all of the country along with Mr. Al Sharpton came to march just for you?And if the news has been talking about you for weeks. There are Jena 6 shirts, Web sites, petitions — wouldn’t you feel pretty puffed up by all the attention if you were a teenager?

Bottom line: I won’t turn in my “black card” for my above statements. Just because I’m black, DOES NOT mean I will fall in line.

Bitch, please…

I’m not offended by this word. Hell there is even a magazine named bitch.

When I was in high school, I proudly displayed a sticker on my rear window which read Super Bitch with the Superman “S” in the middle.

I will admit it took me a while to take the word in a warm embrace and one day I just said, “alright—when someone says this to me, it’s always when I’m defending myself or when I’ve gone against the grain.” And then I just decided to wear it like a black dress instead of a chip on my shoulder.

But here we go again with a “celebrity” getting in trouble for name-calling. However this time it’s different. This time we are told that it’s OK to call a black chick a bitch if you are a black male but it’s not OK to do it when you are a white guy. Who said this wonderful tidbit? Mr. Isiah Thomas, New York Knicks coach and president. Read what the fuss is about.

For one thing. Like I said. I don’t care about this word. Even if some guy (or girl for that matter) calls me it when I’ve pissed him or her off. However to be told that it all comes down to race on whether or not it’s OK is just crazy. Because by dissecting it down like that, you are telling me that black people can degrade their own but not let the white folks do it.

I would have preferred if he just fessed up to the word just being derogatory, period. And that he was wrong for saying it. Not announce that because this word is so offensive it can only be used by blacks. What are you trying to tell me then? Blacks can be uncouth all they want but whites have to just sit back and use another word more appropriate for their skin? Bitch is bitch in any race or culture. And does Mr. Thomas realize that his statement just makes us [black folks] look foolish?

Race should give the “privilege” of using words that hurt people? Again, if Thomas were to have said, Don’t forget, you f——— bitch, I’m the president of this f——— team,” to me, I would have laughed in his face. The word bitch isn’t harsh enough to shake my spirit but that’s just me. However Thomas’ alleged following statement, “What the f— is your job? What are your job responsibilities, you f——— ho?” would have got him BITCH-slapped because:

A.) The egotist has just questioned my job ability. A big no-no if you know me. I’m a goal-hungry vixen and he would have regretted the moment he said that.

B.) Bitch I’ll answer to; “ho” will get you a loss of your scrotum.

Some ladies may not agree with me saying that bitch isn’t that big of a deal. Even the intent behind it. I just don’t care. But Thomas is a damn fool to think it’s OK to say it only if you are black.

I’m answering your questions.

Because I’m in a strange Sunday mood, I’ve decided to give simple answers to your burning questions. More to the point, the questions listed on my search engine stats. I hope they will be of use to you and maybe to those who have sadly stumbled onto my blog searching for real advice.

Got a search engine quesiton?1.) should I date a coworker of another race?

Well I say who cares about the color. The main issue you need to consider is if it’s wise to date your coworker. The race is irrelevant. Whoever you are, get your priorities in order.

2.) how to have affair married man

Geez. That isn’t too hard. Dress the part. Sit at the bar. Wait. And mention that you have condoms in your handbag. Then shut the hell up about it to your friends because they will be your worst enemy if they find out.

3.) how to keep a married man around

Hum. If you have to ask then you have been pushed aside for the other tart at the bar. Time to move on toots. Get a hobby or something.

4.) why do animals lay at my feet

Depends. Do your feet smell? Seriously. Animals love smells. And things that smell odd or yucky to us, they just seem to love. This may also be because you are a very lovable person and they just want some snuggle time.

5.) married man mistress breaking up with me

Ahahahahahah! I have no advice. Maybe you should have not cheated on your wife in the first place.

6.) WHY A PEDICURE

Because people hate feet for the most part unless you have a foot fetish. I choose not to go to salons anymore for a pedi and do it myself. You can read about it here.

7.) that the purpose of life is work argument

Yep. For me my purpose has proven time and time again to be work related. But that isn’t true for everyone. There are all the Mother Teresas in the world. Like Miss Jolie. *choked on vomit*

8.) How do black women feel about aging?

Well as the saying goes, black don’t crack. I think black women aren’t worried about their appearance while aging. But I think everyone, not just women of course, are always worried about aging. Some people truly embrace it as I hope to do as I tackle my fear of turning 30.

9.) white men will date asian women but not

But not what? Next question.

10.) wife prefers black men

Well grow a pair and leave her.

11.) how black women make love to a white guy

Hum. Well. We don’t really have any different parts from white chicks so figure it out. Maybe you wanted to read, “Ooh baby, we like it rough.” Or “Wez really freaky in the bedroom, yo.” Next racially charged question.

12.) are black women looked down upon by whit

Ask and you shall receive. Looks like another black/white question. Well black women are looked down upon if they let themselves be looked down upon. People do what they want around here and looking down is just one of the wonderful things humanity has to offer.

13.) letting go of a narcissist

Just stop listening and piss them off with your honesty.

14.) Black men don’t want black women

Oh. Really. Well I’m not worried about it. Why should you? Grow a pair and step out of your comfort zone.

15.) why does every movie I watch have a whit

Because of The Man.

16.) how to date white men

Go to Hooters. Ah. I’m kidding. Well, I think just stay open-minded. If you’ve snagged a white man and you are a black chick like me, it really shouldn’t be any different than shagging I mean snagging any other race. Man. Why are people so concerned with this?

17.) I dated a black women

Good for you. And I think you meant to type woman.

18.) why do married couple cheat

I’m still trying to answer this question myself. But I guess it’s like really digging candy. But your favorite kind is getting old to you and you heard about another candy you may enjoy a whole lot more. However, just in case it tastes bad, you don’t want to let go of the old candy. Not just yet.

19.) hobby lobby is a horrible place to work

Not really a question but I will say that it’s a horrible place to shop or get pictures framed.

20.) wanna live like a dog

Me too.

There were lots of others but they were variations of the same sexually charged, racially divided nature. Have a question?

Use the form below. If you want it answered privately, say so.

Here is one question from Frontier Former Editor: Dear mother of god, from under what rock or deadfall did the questioners in this last post crawl?

A) I wish I could answer this question. But what I can say to you dear Frontier is that we would probably be amazed that it could be the neighbor next door or your kid’s school teacher.

Here we go again…

I’m tired of hearing about the word “nigger.”

Now comedian Eddie Griffin got in trouble  for using it. I will spare you all the other things at hand and how careful comedians have to be now about using this word. So let me just give you my take …

I don’t want to hear you using it in my presence. And I’m not saying, “Oh, it’s OK when WE do it but you white folks better not put that word in ya mouth.” I won’t be saying that because personally I just hate the word and I don’t really want to hear it at all — from anyone. BUT… I grew up with this word (as obviously so many other black folks have) so I admit that on occasion, I do use it’s variation of “nigga” among friends and family but not in earshot of the general public. When people do that, it just fuels the fire of this long-debated and senstive issue of this word — the word EVERYONE hates but for some reason people just love to use. And it just gives more reasons for people to say, “Well if it’s OK for YOU to use it, then why can’t I?” Because hearing this word among strangers is simply embarrassing. And personally, when I’ve used it, it still sounds awful coming from my mouth — even in jest. And I’m far from being a prude.

But that said, I will admit to being a hypocrite. I have used it. Plus I don’t care if my father uses it. And sometimes his joke attached to it is damn funny. But that is in the comforts of his home. And I know there are some really wonderfully offensive and racist things we probably all say at home (and won’t admit) no matter how open-minded you were brought up in this society. We are all human and no one is 100 percent free of some prejudice. The real issue of race is whether or not you actually live your life in ignorance.

Ignorance: the state or fact of being ignorant; lack of knowledge, learning, information, etc. The condition of being uneducated, unaware, or uninformed.

Yep. I know you know that definition. But look at it for a minute. Key words being “lack of knowledge” and “unaware.” Just because we all have our prejudices, it is through learning and being aware that we decide whether we actually act out the prejudices we hold. This is about knowing the difference of what’s on the surface, what is deep-rooted and whether or not your prejudices rule your life or how you treat people. I won’t get preachy here. But I will confess my sins and lay down some facts.

Fact: I admit to repeating or allowing my ears to hear racists jokes. Sometimes I even laugh.

Fact: I hate but have used the word “nigga” at least 5 times this year.

Fact: If you take out all the “nigga” references in Hip Hop as truly hypocrital rap mogul Russell Simmons  is currently trying to do, (be sure to click both links and see how he flips his views so quickly) what’s left will probably be more poetic.

Fact: I’m not a racist. But I’m not perfect. And neither are you.

So. Really. I’m tired of hearing about the word “nigger.”

Are you afraid to date a black chick?

There is a wildly popular blog on blogger called White Men for Black Women. Check it out and read a little of it. Maybe it’s just me, but a blog like that is very new to me. Very interesting. Basically it is a white guy discussing the barriers people put up when it comes to interracial dating as well as highlighting why he prefers black women. There is also some other political stuff sprinkled in and “success stories.”

Though I’ve started following this blog, and even added it to my blogroll, I’m still not really sure how I feel about it. Do we REALLY need a movement? I have no qualms saying I love white men. However I love ALL men when they are on my good side! So I don’t really care the race — just need the initial attraction, physical or not.

I really dig the guy going all out in this blog of his but like I said, I’m still not sure how I feel about it. What I do like is how he opens things up for discussion. He did a little survey on how white men reacted to the idea of dating a black woman. The most common response seemed overwhelmingly positive about the idea of dating a black woman however there was a DEFINITE stereotype problem. Most of which concluded that black women don’t like white men because they think they are “geeks,” wouldn’t like a guy who liked opera, and other grand generalizations. Is this where we are in 2007?? Sad.

Other things said were basically that overall, society still isn’t comfortable with interracial dating. I say that isn’t entirely true. Black men date white women with ease every day. What society seems MORE uncomfortable with is white men with black women. Why is that? Humor me because I’m speaking from experience. I know my time dating white men “pales” in comparison to the black men I know now who date white women because my experiences were somewhat more negative. The normal disapproving looks, relatives saying I didn’t need the hassle from society…and family members on the guy’s side that didn’t approve. Why is that? Why is society so afraid of a black woman? I’ve heard it all, even here actually. One thing that was said is that black women are too strong-headed. I’ve met a woman in just about every race that fits that bill quite nicely. People say black women have attitude or are mean. I don’t know about mean, but I think women as a whole should have SOME attitude somewhere in their girdle. This isn’t the age of shrinking violets. Women are stronger than ever. Breaking barriers, climbing the corporate ladder, holding office, raising movements. Aren’t ALL women then supposed to be considered strong.

What I can say about the White Men for Black Women blog is that it’s out in the open, honest, not afraid to say what’s what. I like that. But I still think we as people should be at a point now in nearly 2008 where blogs like that don’t have to be created to gain support of an “interracial movement.”