Archive for the ‘being single’ Category

Me and Barry…

Tricked ya. I’m not really dating a guy named Barry. I scored some free tickets from my favorite local radio station and I am confessing right now that I actually went to a Barry Manilow concert last night. When in doubt — go to a concert, I always say. Well, I really don’t say that, but you just never know who you may see there. I went with another single friend who loves Manilow. And may I add that I saw a good crop of good-looking lads — too bad they were looking at each other. Read more

Should we follow advice columns?

I’m going to post what I’ve been posting over at my work blog. I’m really confused by these steps written by Quick writer Bridgette Williams. Am I just daft or are these really the best steps toward learning to love yourself and in turn land a guy? I want your opinions so you tell me.

Read them in their entirely here:

http://www.o8sis.com/sharedcontent/dws/o8s.is/bwilliams/stories/o8sis080131_ph_hookup.7882c02f.html 

and here: http://www.o8sis.com/sharedcontent/dws/o8sis/bwilliams/stories/o8sis08010207_ph_hookup.9cb767ae.html

But what I’m having issues with is her steps 6 thorough 8. It’s a walking contradiction.

6. Realize, reconcile, repeat. Let me explain. I’ve got a friend who engages in flirtatious banter with a bevy of boys – some she actually likes, some she doesn’t.

This creeps me out because I don’t understand why you would flirt with someone whom you have no interest in. That’s just mean. But I can reconcile it with the fact that you have to start somewhere, and flirting is as good a starting point as any.

7. Recruit a romantic role model. While my friend’s tactics are different than mine, I consider her a romantic role model. Find someone who navigates the dating world as a man magnet and find ways to emulate her.

8. Understand your love perspective. I was raised by guys. So it’s highly likely that I will have a guy’s point of view on most issues, like the whole flirting for flirting’s sake thing. My point is, if you know you don’t like the color, why are you trying on the dress?

So here is where I’m lost. I thought that if I had the flirty friend I am supposed to follow her lead but she just said not to flirt for flirting’s sake. I’m bringing all this up because as you go on your journey trying to figure out what is wrong with you or find out what to do with yourself by reading these advice columns, start dissecting.

I know we are all seeking for knowledge. Obviously because we are bloggers. And bloggers read other bloggers to get advice. Sometimes it’s good and other times…One thing I do agree with is the idea of loving yourself. But shouldn’t you figure out on your own how to do that. Can someone really tell you how to love you?

Random alert: January isn’t over, but still…

Resolutions are pretty much ruined in the first week. But I’ve got to say, I’ve been sticking to my resolutions  pretty well. Especially the one about yelling. I yell so much less which shocks my family. I pretty much yell at life. I don’t mean to yell at the person. Just my situation I’m not thrilled with. Or about something that went crabby that day…I catch myself now. And stop before the beast can be unleashed…

I’ve stuck closely to the resolution about putting myself out there. And all the calorie counting. I’ve dropped another pound in fact. Something else worth noting: I’m feeling like 2008 is going to be pretty damn good. I’ve signed up for a lot of stuff this month to keep me occupied and meeting new people. Each month I will force myself to go to at least four events not connected to my job or random bar hopping without a purpose — meaning if I’m going to a bar, there better be a game on!! Or some speed-dating which I will be experimenting with on Jan. 23…There will be video. Stick around.

In other stuff, last night I went to an opera event with this lady I met in an art group I’m a member of. They are all older than me, but I leave a little wiser each time I attend their meetings. Well this lady is about 74 but she’s really cool. She invited me to this French singing performance as her guest and she introduced me to some folks. She also said she would try to get me in touch with people who can help me promote my work. Who knows. Maybe I’ll get out of Texas one day afterall. You never know. Anyway, even though there was an age gap (she kept telling stories which started with “You are probably too young to remember this” and that), I felt that I needed to go to the event just to kick off a long line of things I plan to attend in the future so I can put myself out there — something I need to do more of to see what else ticks in this world other than all I’ve known in the last 29 years. It’s just about the best fresh start I need.

Day 99: I’ve posted this elsewhere…

My singles blog in fact. But it still should count for my countdown. Update on that by the way: I’ve got on size 16 jeans that I shrank once upon a time when I felt ambitious (yes, I will confess to size 16) and I’ve got at least two inches of room hanging out not to mention extra material in the tush and thighs. Pounds are still the same. Haven’t lost more than five but I noticed today, while sitting in my panties in front of the computer (tee hee) that I didn’t have protrusions coming out of my sides! Yes…

Yesterday [Saturday] a friend from work and I went to the lake by my apartment and walked. I took along my camera as I always do when I walk the lake. Usually alone. My friend had recently discovered the lake and fell in love with the area. She’s not really from here and I guess one day she just went driving, got out and walked…

Anyway this trek of ours wasn’t supposed to be that long. We both decided that before she came to my apartment. As we walked, we yapped about work of course. Where we wanted to be next year. And I snapped a lot of pics. Before we knew it I guess it may have been about 45 minutes and we looked around. I asked her if she wanted to turn back but by the look of her face and my frowned brow we both decided we were too curious and walked some more. However, we were headed nowhere near my apartment.
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Did the devil spike my cookie?

fortune-cookie-jpg.jpg

While scrummaging around in my closet yesterday getting ready for the company Christmas party, I found an old fortune from who knows how long ago. It reads:

Be mischievous and you will not be lonesome…

Is it wrong that I took this to mean when it comes to men? I think I’ve been mischievous before and I appear to still be single. Let me check…

Yep. Single.

Anyway as I’ve said before the holidays are not the times many people are keeping up with blogging so I don’t know if anyone is even reading this, but I just had to write about this fortune. Not only is the scripture odd, but it’s not your typical fortune.

Most fortunes, even the really good ones you get from Pei Wei, always say something like being good to get what you want or paying it back or some other kind of funky foretelling. But to be mischievous? That sounds like an evil fortune. Did the devil spike my cookie? I wonder if I did something mischievous when I originally opened that cookie…

Does this mean I need to be all about sex and whatnot? Or does this mean that I’ve just got to kick up the sexy? I don’t know that I need to take cues from a fortune, of course. Especially one found on my floor that was possibly from two years ago that probably fell out of my jewelry box. But the coincidence that I found it just before that party is a strange one.

And I don’t know if I was fueled by it or not but I was up to a bit of mischief last night. The fortune was right. But I am pretty sure I was not alone with a potential suitor. (If that is even what “not being lonesome” meant in this particular case of odd fortune.) More like a fairly amusing night of my laughing too loud, sneaking an ill-gotten tequila shot with a coworker by the pool, talking inappropriately at a late dinner with other coworker friends and their boyfriends, and then a drive home — alone.

I have saved that fortune though. For a later date.

He’s back in your life…now what?

I have been recently contacted by a guy I was seeing. We didn’t end on bad terms, exactly. He just had a lot going on and dropped out of view while I just figured he was a jerk or something (even though he was always a nice guy.) However he has since asked for another shot. Now I’m one to can forgive. But after you have burned me twice, I’ve moved on. Well. I’m giving things another shot. Shot number 2. However I’m very gun-shy about it. How do you let yourself get involved again without all the fear? Do you trust it?

In this case, he said all the right things. Said he made a mistake. Said he wanted another chance and promised no strings attached while he tries to gain my trust I guess. The way my life is right now, I’ve really been focusing on me. But maybe I shouldn’t let that get in the way? I’m such a skeptic. And I don’t expect romance anymore. I just want something stable but at the same time I have finally accepted single life so if it doesn’t work out, going back to the usual won’t be a shock. Many of you, in a round about way, have stated that whole “life is too short” thing in some of my other posts. It is. While it is short, I don’t want a roller-coaster–but I guess that bumpy ride can be fun. Hum. As I twiddle my thumbs, he’s calling shortly. As I twiddle my thumbs I wonder when will I be comfortable with dating again…If I ever really was.