Did the devil spike my cookie?

fortune-cookie-jpg.jpg

While scrummaging around in my closet yesterday getting ready for the company Christmas party, I found an old fortune from who knows how long ago. It reads:

Be mischievous and you will not be lonesome…

Is it wrong that I took this to mean when it comes to men? I think I’ve been mischievous before and I appear to still be single. Let me check…

Yep. Single.

Anyway as I’ve said before the holidays are not the times many people are keeping up with blogging so I don’t know if anyone is even reading this, but I just had to write about this fortune. Not only is the scripture odd, but it’s not your typical fortune.

Most fortunes, even the really good ones you get from Pei Wei, always say something like being good to get what you want or paying it back or some other kind of funky foretelling. But to be mischievous? That sounds like an evil fortune. Did the devil spike my cookie? I wonder if I did something mischievous when I originally opened that cookie…

Does this mean I need to be all about sex and whatnot? Or does this mean that I’ve just got to kick up the sexy? I don’t know that I need to take cues from a fortune, of course. Especially one found on my floor that was possibly from two years ago that probably fell out of my jewelry box. But the coincidence that I found it just before that party is a strange one.

And I don’t know if I was fueled by it or not but I was up to a bit of mischief last night. The fortune was right. But I am pretty sure I was not alone with a potential suitor. (If that is even what “not being lonesome” meant in this particular case of odd fortune.) More like a fairly amusing night of my laughing too loud, sneaking an ill-gotten tequila shot with a coworker by the pool, talking inappropriately at a late dinner with other coworker friends and their boyfriends, and then a drive home — alone.

I have saved that fortune though. For a later date.

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10 responses to this post.

  1. Its too late, you already cracked the cookie.
    Go find the one prick dude in this world that has always had it coming. Seduce him into going to your place. Strip himwith your teeth and then demand that he shower first.
    While hes showering spray a mist of bleach and white pepper on his underwear. When he gets out of the shower get hormonal and insist on going out to eat.
    Whatever you do get him out whithin 5 minutes of putting his underwear on, go for a burger, whatever.
    Just kick back and enjoy. He’ll probably strip in public.

    Reply

  2. Posted by MisstressM on Sunday, December 16, 2007 at 11:12 pm

    You are supposed to read “in bed” after the fortune. It makes a lot more sense.

    Reply

  3. I am all caught up but undoubtedly this comment will find its way into your Spam folder never to be heard from again. You hit the nail on the head. This time of year there are so many things that require your time. Blogging falls to the bottom. Reading blogs falls off the map. But as I said, I am all caught up now. Hope you are well.
    Mike

    Reply

  4. That’s funny. Last year I went to a place that has a reputation for it’s “adult theme” fortune cookies. Mine said “Good for one free blow job.” It’s still on the fridge.

    Reply

  5. I like yours, Medic. That would be a real keeper for sure!
    As for “in bed” I buess that makes sense, M. Maybe I was at Chinese joint that has a great sense of humor…!

    Mike! Good to see you and yes, I retrieved your comment from spam…Glad you caught up. As you can see, more of the same…
    I’ve gotta catch up at your neck of the woods…

    Reply

  6. ‘More like a fairly amusing night of my laughing too loud, sneaking an ill-gotten tequila shot with a coworker by the pool, talking inappropriately at a late dinner with other coworker friends and their boyfriends..”

    Sounds like you’ve already gotten started.

    Reply

  7. Gee, Mickey, why not just punch the guy a few times instead? Besides, what if prick guy is hot ? See, these things have a way of backfiring.

    [Hopefully prick guy is not thinking, “Let scorned woman seduce me, let her believe she has the upper hand, seduce while naked and freshly showered, leave undies as gift].

    Reply

  8. Yea. Something tells me I’m not bold enough to do such a thing, Micky. Besides, at this point, why would I start turning a man away?!

    Reply

  9. Tequila. Drink more tequlla.

    Reply

  10. Ladies, I said the “one prick dude in this world that has always had it coming. ”

    You know …
    Someone who pissed you off at one time or another ?
    Its an old locker room trick.
    Should I be nicer ? Huh ?
    I dont do cucumber slices and avocado masks.
    If giving someone roid rash is too harsh and you’re feeling mischevious try throwing a bunch of ketchup packets on the street next to some stuck up sidewalk cafe`.
    The cars run over them and the fucking kethup shoots out at about waist level. Its funnier than shit to sit back and watch these goody two shoe quiche and white wine snobs get blasted with ketchup all over their white gauze and beige outfits.
    I did it in Sausalito once with about 50 packets.

    Reply

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