Should we follow advice columns?

I’m going to post what I’ve been posting over at my work blog. I’m really confused by these steps written by Quick writer Bridgette Williams. Am I just daft or are these really the best steps toward learning to love yourself and in turn land a guy? I want your opinions so you tell me.

Read them in their entirely here: 

and here:

But what I’m having issues with is her steps 6 thorough 8. It’s a walking contradiction.

6. Realize, reconcile, repeat. Let me explain. I’ve got a friend who engages in flirtatious banter with a bevy of boys – some she actually likes, some she doesn’t.

This creeps me out because I don’t understand why you would flirt with someone whom you have no interest in. That’s just mean. But I can reconcile it with the fact that you have to start somewhere, and flirting is as good a starting point as any.

7. Recruit a romantic role model. While my friend’s tactics are different than mine, I consider her a romantic role model. Find someone who navigates the dating world as a man magnet and find ways to emulate her.

8. Understand your love perspective. I was raised by guys. So it’s highly likely that I will have a guy’s point of view on most issues, like the whole flirting for flirting’s sake thing. My point is, if you know you don’t like the color, why are you trying on the dress?

So here is where I’m lost. I thought that if I had the flirty friend I am supposed to follow her lead but she just said not to flirt for flirting’s sake. I’m bringing all this up because as you go on your journey trying to figure out what is wrong with you or find out what to do with yourself by reading these advice columns, start dissecting.

I know we are all seeking for knowledge. Obviously because we are bloggers. And bloggers read other bloggers to get advice. Sometimes it’s good and other times…One thing I do agree with is the idea of loving yourself. But shouldn’t you figure out on your own how to do that. Can someone really tell you how to love you?

3 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by loudmouthprotestant on Tuesday, February 19, 2008 at 8:53 pm

    Hey Jenice, you are certainly right that we should all figure out how to love ourselves on our own but there are some people that need a little push in that direction after not realizing it for themselves. I agreed with most of what she said up until 6-8 because like you said they were a bit contradictory. It’s like all of a sudden she shifted to thinking acting like someone else was going to be your ticket in which I can’t agree with…completely.

    I do acknowledge that we all have friends that have personality traits that we too would love to have but I don’t think the magic isn’t trying to emulate them at any cost but in observing them and seeing how you can create that within yourself.

    Once in a Bible study–or I should say several times–I’ve heard the teacher make reference to having a teachable spirit and latching onto to people who have characteristics that you admire and learning from them. It always starts when someone refers to Naomi and Ruth in the book of Ruth in the Bible. Ruth was willing to follow Naomi only because she admired the God that Naomi served and believed so fervently in and in following Naomi she learned a few things–she learned how to catch a man. The teacher often says a teachable spirit is the quickest bridge to go from where you are to where you want to be.

    So in that respect I think some advice columns and supplemental books are appropriate if you’d be so diligent to take what you need and throw out the rest. She has good points, she just needs to flesh them out a bit. But I have definitely been thinking about the “Buy yourself something that will make you feel hot. That was confirmation for me. Now I just need to find out what that is.


  2. Other people can definatley be instrumental in showing you why you should love yourself or how.
    For some its very hard to do this on your own.
    Depending on the level of percieved flaws and screw ups in your life it can be very challenging.
    After 20 years of needles and booze and all the abuse I performed on others it was very hard to see any worth in myself without the support and guidance of those around me.
    These people knew I side of me that my self loathing prevented me from seeing.
    Flirting even with those you dont like ?
    Thats just sick. It would look to me as if that person is just performing some self gratifying confirmation of sexual viability based on insecurities stemming from previous rejections.
    But hey, thats just me talking.


  3. Check it out:
    -another person suggesting that flirting is the way in but her advice is a little more cohesive and gives different ways to flirt that she has observed. I’d actually call it communicating more than shamelessly batting your eyelashes…


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