Archive for the ‘interracial dating’ Category

Black women: they don’t want you.

Warning: This is written as stream of consciousness, you find your own clarity. And I’m sure, your own disagreements with me.

Before leaving my home around 10 p.m. last night, I checked the mirror. I didn’t feel that my hair looked it’s best but overall I felt pretty. Makeup was at a minimum. I dabbed on a little scented oil and dashed out the door. The place I was going was unfamiliar to me but I knew what the crowd would be like — artists, poets, talented people who probably have boring day jobs.

Upon reaching my destination, I felt very alone already. The street was quiet. Just a couple walked passed me, hand in hand. Surveying the street before entering, I walked into a quaint bistro — pretty much ready for a glass of wine, beer, some grub. Before deciding on something ridiculously priced, I realized I was right. Artist types. A few wearing those Hunter S. Thompson  stances, a few looking over their notes before approaching the mic, several looking authentic in afros, dreadlocks — no one really taking notice of me but that was fine. A cute couple approached in line after I placed my order. He full of dreads and a nice, dark physic; she with alabaster skin and flowing brown hair. Nice-looking pair I thought and I took my seat.

Then I noticed something. Every black female, including myself, was either alone or with a group of other black females who were alone. For all I know, they had men at home but part of me, cynical me, doubted it. I looked around. Including the couple mention previously, there were two more black male/white female pairings. That usually doesn’t bother me…

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Black women and white men…

I gotta tell you; I’ve not had any slowing down of my old post about interracial dating. It still gets a fair amount of hits. This isn’t a call for all of you jokesters to start finding more weird search engine terms to get to this blog and then for me to write about them.  But for some reason I get on a daily basis at least a dozen search engine terms looking for a variety of topics surrounding black women and white men dating. And lately Jewish men dating black women. WTF? Is this really THAT taboo still? I’ve dated the rainbow, as I’ve told you before, and I just never really saw dating a white man a big deal. Does the rest of society?

I will be honest though. I’m thinking the resurgence of this topic is because of the opposite happening: black men and white women. I’m not going to do some census search on this but I’m just thinking about my every day life in Texas. I see an increasing number of black men and white women coupled up. I don’t have a problem with this but I can only imagine that the two left are looking at each other, shrugging and saying, “Well, why don’t we?”

That said though, there is still so much hesitation. Believe me. White men dating black women isn’t very common here. Not sure about your area of the world. I really dig shows like “Private Practice” that treat interracial connections as something that isn’t a matter of discussion. The main discussion on that show is that the lead black female character has to choose between two men — a black one she was married to and a white one who loves her so much that is the only reason he works in the office. Race isn’t an issue. I can’t stand shows that make that the MAIN issue. The tired old story of “what will my parents think?” Aren’t we over this yet? I just don’t get it.

So for those of you searching to see if this is some “strange” concept, stop. Just go with it. Ask that black chick out. Ask that white dude out. Enjoy Hanukkah with that chocolate hottie…

WTF are you waiting for?

Are you afraid to date a black chick?

There is a wildly popular blog on blogger called White Men for Black Women. Check it out and read a little of it. Maybe it’s just me, but a blog like that is very new to me. Very interesting. Basically it is a white guy discussing the barriers people put up when it comes to interracial dating as well as highlighting why he prefers black women. There is also some other political stuff sprinkled in and “success stories.”

Though I’ve started following this blog, and even added it to my blogroll, I’m still not really sure how I feel about it. Do we REALLY need a movement? I have no qualms saying I love white men. However I love ALL men when they are on my good side! So I don’t really care the race — just need the initial attraction, physical or not.

I really dig the guy going all out in this blog of his but like I said, I’m still not sure how I feel about it. What I do like is how he opens things up for discussion. He did a little survey on how white men reacted to the idea of dating a black woman. The most common response seemed overwhelmingly positive about the idea of dating a black woman however there was a DEFINITE stereotype problem. Most of which concluded that black women don’t like white men because they think they are “geeks,” wouldn’t like a guy who liked opera, and other grand generalizations. Is this where we are in 2007?? Sad.

Other things said were basically that overall, society still isn’t comfortable with interracial dating. I say that isn’t entirely true. Black men date white women with ease every day. What society seems MORE uncomfortable with is white men with black women. Why is that? Humor me because I’m speaking from experience. I know my time dating white men “pales” in comparison to the black men I know now who date white women because my experiences were somewhat more negative. The normal disapproving looks, relatives saying I didn’t need the hassle from society…and family members on the guy’s side that didn’t approve. Why is that? Why is society so afraid of a black woman? I’ve heard it all, even here actually. One thing that was said is that black women are too strong-headed. I’ve met a woman in just about every race that fits that bill quite nicely. People say black women have attitude or are mean. I don’t know about mean, but I think women as a whole should have SOME attitude somewhere in their girdle. This isn’t the age of shrinking violets. Women are stronger than ever. Breaking barriers, climbing the corporate ladder, holding office, raising movements. Aren’t ALL women then supposed to be considered strong.

What I can say about the White Men for Black Women blog is that it’s out in the open, honest, not afraid to say what’s what. I like that. But I still think we as people should be at a point now in nearly 2008 where blogs like that don’t have to be created to gain support of an “interracial movement.”