Archive for the ‘sickness’ Category

Resolutions: Pointless yet expected

Last year I posted my resolutions. I even went as far as making a page on here about them. I can pretty much say if sticking to resolutions were a class I probably made a C- or maybe a D? You can read them all here. But I’m going to recap.

1. Never watch Beaches again. Reminds me too much of a friend I miss dearly. (Check. And that friend and I are in the same zip code now.)

2. Stop yelling every time something doesn’t go my way. (I did pretty well with this one…)

3. Here’s the most common of all: Lose a total of 30 pounds by next year. (Well this didn’t happen. But you can read why here. All I have to say is I have an Oprah excuse.)

4. Keep up calorie-counting. (Um yeah…that got old.)

5. Get over the things I can’t change. That’s a big one. (Bombed.)

6. Make myself more available when it comes to sparking new relationships. It’s time I’ve found grown up events and places (i.e. not bars) to frequent to nab me a man…(First part. Yes. Second part…um yea.)

7. MAKE MORE MONEY. (This did happen. And my photography helped a little as well.)

8. Travel. No excuses of money, time or if I can get people to join me.  (My three-month stint at “love” took me to Vegas.)

9. Get my dream lens…at all costs. A new camera won’t hurt either.  (Check and check. But now I have another dream lens I want.)

10. Complain less. That’s a hard one so I have one caveat: Complain less to people in person and get it all out on my blog.  (I did pretty damn good with this one, considering where I had to start. Only I wish that I blogged more.)

So I’m ready to get going on this year’s set of resolutions that I am going to work like hell to actually complete. This is a new year that I have been waiting for all last year. Last year was a real challenge.

Read my 2009 list after the jump…
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I need no more crosses to bear…

I’m not exactly a religious person though I do believe in a higher power, a creator and all of that. I waver on evolution. That obviously has a place in the grand scheme of things even though I know it’s not a popular belief system. Even with my issues with being raised Christian but leaning more toward agnosticism, I’ve always held on to the saying, “God gives us no cross we cannot bear” or some variation of that. I have always heard that saying from hardcore Christians throughout my life. My mother used to say something along those lines though I believe she had her own way of saying things.

That bit about bearing crosses, maybe  it’s true. However, I’ve had enough crosses from just this year alone. More than I care to recall, more than I care to see again…

I’m sick today, yet again. I just can’t seem to get on the path to good health no matter how hard I try. Which leads me to medical bills upon medical bills. And then there’s all the changes with work: the layoffs, firings, resignations, issues with managing, slowly losing grip once again to a social life and pretty much realizing I’m kind of alone in a way. I have wonderful parents but I can’t lean on them forever. I guess this reads as a pity party. But really I’m trying hard to grasp at the aforementioned saying, “God gives us no cross we cannot bear.”

Through it all, I guess I get to the next day and the next and the next — but at what cost? When do the crosses stop coming? Where do I put them all?