So you want to be a homeowner…

I think since the start of this new year I couldn’t help thinking that things were going to change for me. For the better? I had no clue. And I’m still not sure. I’ve been reading a lot of blogs lately that seem to have an underlining thread of being at a crossroads of some kind. An awakening or a major change. Currently, I’m not really sure what mine is but I’ve realized a few things: Acceptance and risk. I’ve mentioned the latter often. The previous, not so much.

I’m not good at acceptance. I’m always waiting for something to happen to change a current situation and hopefully for the better. That doesn’t always happen for me. In fact, I don’t see it happening that often. I’ve been doing too much thinking today, however. Actually, I’ve been doing too much thinking since January. I guess I thought my calling was to leave where I am today and go forth in a new direction. Now I see it more as, “Well, Jenice. You just have to make the best of this life you have today.” Which means stop looking over my shoulder for “something else.”

At some point of your life you have to just accept your life as it is. That doesn’t mean being complacent. It just means making the best of now. And I’ve decided to officially stop searching for “something else” because I need to improve, focus and absorb what is my “now.” I’m not being idealistic because I’m doing all this acceptance sort of reluctantly. It just is a kind of growing up. I’ve said once before that 30 is like a second adolescence.

And here is where the risk comes in. I’ve officially decided I want to be a homeowner. I don’t know how it will all come out but making sure I’ve done the whole acceptance bit was the first step. Because I have to be OK with living in Texas a little while longer. No more visions of New York skylines, the scenary of Alaska or the warmth of California. No matter how much I can’t stand Dallas, I need to just grow up.

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