Archive for the ‘Wet for Went’ Category

we don’t have to take our clothes off…

Remember that Jermaine Stewart song? If you don’t, feel free to enjoy the cheese below.

But that is a lie. I think I’ve probably had some good times with my clothes on but with people finding any way possible to get naked, this one-hit wonder is obviously inaccurate. I’m not going to write all about Vanessa. You can get your share of it from the last 24 or so hours of eager bloggers posting at WordPress. But I will say this: What bothered me most about the picture of that ex-Disney Diva (her halo has been tarnished no matter how many more Disney flicks she does) in all her “glory” wasn’t her boobies. It was that her drapes and bedroom set didn’t quite match when I think she tried for it to. And I actually mean her decor, not her privates. That and the fact that I think I noticed a Target lamp. And there is something metal and unidentifiable on her wall that I couldn’t quite make out. Isn’t she supposed to be rich? And couldn’t she find a better camera to snap her stuff with that produces perfect lighting, zoom and pixels? Maybe the little punks of High School Musical didn’t get paid as much as I thought…

Anyway, who gives a rats about nakedness? Why is America so damn uptight? Man, when Janet Jackson let loose her areola you would have thought the Anti-Christ had finally arrived. Doesn’t this nation pride itself on expression and freedom? I guess not.

To me the main reason for clothes is because no one wants to see my thighs in action. That and I think there is some really unknown story in the Bible that you just never hear from passionate fundamentalists that has something to do about gaining knowledge or something. Geez. I don’t care if I see someone nude. To me it’s like saying I can’t stand seeing myself in the mirror. We all have tits. Butts. Big and small bellies. Well in America, mostly big ones.

I’m willing to bet money I don’t really have (unless you want to visit my shop, tee hee) that every last one of you have taken a “naughty” pic of yourself for or with your significant other. The difference is, when you are a celebrity, you get the chance to share it for some Google juice, to escape being type-casted or to get a quick coke fix of publicity.

I don’t care. Why does America care? Am I not an American? Hum, how many times can I say America in this post? America…

Too good not to post…I love my LOL generator!

 


Update: This post is currently like 96 on Top Posts. However, it has disappeared from most of the tags I posted it in. To test something, I reposted it under another title  for a while and sure enough it was in all the tags I listed. Weird. WordPress messes with me sometimes. And I’m sure I’ve been replaced already by Wet for Went.

On August 20 I was a growing blog…

Ah. It’s like a nice and distant memory. Just happy to say it happend once!

So what’s the key to being a growing blog?

So far I’ve noticed that the more religion or controversy (but with a little tact) the better. Oh and it doesn’t hurt to throw in sex and technology. If you do all four at the same time, then you are a genius! Politics: no brainer. And if you mix it up with sex, definite win but gee with the way politics are, both are pretty much synonymous!

Splice in some Facebook talk and a dash of sports.

If you live in New York: bonus points. If you live in New York and write about it: guaranteed win. If you are someone trying to nip at the heels of worthless celebrity blogger, Perez Hilton, triple points. Especially if you mostly cover black celebrities.

If you are a crazed fan who is obsessed with a hottie from Prison Break, you are golden.

There you have it. I will keep adding to this list. Feel free to add to it as well. I’ll give you credit for it.

Here are some so far. There are also some ideas in the comments section…

“For Google juice use a nice long list of celebrities.
Today I used celebrities who have tried to commit suicide (via Mental_floss.)”
goinglikesixty

“Generally, the more people I annoy, the higher my technorati ranking.

Also, being an entomologist the week of a giant spider web occurred in Texas helped :)”Bug Girl

“Sex, celebrity and a damn good title.. It’s all in the titles.” — Paul Baylay

“It would also be good to be an atheist and throw in a little religion bashing (even better just focus on the Christians). Atheism is like the new craze or something like that.” — Bacony Goodness