Archive for the ‘vanity’ Category

Days 10-12: Winning/Losing the Good Fight

OK. This will not be an entry of excuses. I repeat this will not be an entry of excuses and I write this again and again Bart Simpson style on my mental chalkboard. But alas I didn’t work out. I haven’t since Day 8 technically but I think Day 9 counted since I walked the whole damn fair for most of my day. The guilt is creeping in — I should have really pushed harder this week. And even though I have DVR now (which seems like I was the last to get it), the Thursday lineup just makes me want to sit on the couch and sip my sake…

Good news is that I’m dropping a few inches. But mostly in my feet. I have a pair of fierce heels that were slipping off of me on Day 10. I remember specifically that they used to be tight as hell. This time around I had to be careful not to fall over from them sliding all around. Also I looked in the mirror this morning and seemed less disgusted at myself. Ah. Progress.

Well, today is a day of pampering. I’m getting my hair done. And possibly nails. Because really, this countdown is about improvement and what’s improvement without a little pampering, right?

Dane Cook tries to sing

danecook.jpgI told ya’ll, this weekend stays really light. And I don’t mind admitting I watch VH1’s “Best Week Ever.” It’s even in my sidebar. It’s the only thing worth watching on that station. And I just nearly peed my shorts on this one so I had to share.

Not a fan of Dane Cook? You will be happy to know that he’s taken himself WAY too seriously and has released a new single called “Forward.” I didn’t know what was funnier. The song, or the fact the BWE turned it into a music video set to his stand up. Unfortuately BWE doesn’t have embeded codes so you will have to click this link to see it.

Even the cat is shocked.

Dane Cook Kitty

I want him to go away.

Warning: I’m just bitching.

Why can’t society let Perez Hilton go away?

YUCK.

I have seen at least three interviews with this guy and have not quite figured out all the hype. He has no personality and his tired tactics have been done before somewhere else. And probably better.A few things I’ve noticed. When specific questions are asked, he tends to sound like he’s searching for a good lie story. On the Chelsea Lately Show last night he was yapping about how Amy Winehouse called him. Really? And how he suggested to her that she go back to rehab and she supposedly said, “No, they sold me out.” He told this story as a “true” account. Now this may have happened. But have you ever heard a three-year-old give an account of something that happened to them? And then after a while it sounds like a really great lie?

OK. He dyes his hair green. Why? Not because he thinks it looks cool I’m sure. But mainly just because he thinks he looks different and because he looks so ordinary, the green coif makes him “stand out.” Please. To me he would get lost in a crowd of people. Plus the green hair gives the talk show host a distraction from what he or she really wants to say like, “Why in the love of all that is good and right in the world do YOU have a show while it took me X amount of years to get here?!”I think Jimmy Kimmel may have wanted to say that.Plus he doesn’t articulate things well but how can a man who draws penises on people’s heads really articulate.

What is the edge? Celebrity bashing? That’s a dime a dozen activity. Every damn blogger (including my ass) is doing that. What sets him apart is that he did it first, I guess. Or at least was the first blogger to get enough Google juice to make him famous. I want the hourglass on his 15 minutes to shatter. I don’t think the Perez phenomena is going away soon. Now that he has a new show, Perez Says, it will be impossible to make him disappear. Unless the three-year-old gets caught in one of his “stories” — crying wolf style and everyone stops listening.

Can’t a girl just get a pedicure anymore?

A long time ago someone called me a JAP: Jewish American Princess, which I’m still wondering if this word is considered offensive. Anyway, I’m not Jewish. That is unless I’m related to Sammy Davis, Jr. I think the person felt as if I kept up an image conscious routine which is a nice way for me to just say “high maintenance.” I’m really not though. Really! I just like to take care of myself and many moons ago I used to do the whole thing: acrylic nails, pedicures, weekly eyebrow wax…

I’ve since been more frugal and practical by doing my own nails. They never were bad to begin with but acrylics were so much easier to take care of. The eyebrow stuff I still do but now I take things into my own hands more often so I don’t have to shell out the dough for someone to put me through that pain. But ah. Pedicures. This has been a hard one. First of all I would have never stopped pedicures if it wasn’t for the local news. Beware, this picture is gross.

EWWWWWWWWW!

 

You see because many local nail shops can’t seem to NOT be nasty, refuse to disinfect regularly and aren’t so great about keeping things up to health code standards, the above infection could happen to me — so I’ve told myself. And it just so happens that my FAVORITE shop was dinged for not being up to code so that stopped me in my tracks. Now I go on “recommendations.” My latest stop at a recommended nail salon proved to be an ironic fruitful failure. They did do their share of keeping up the code as far as using plastic lined basins instead of the spa chairs for pedicures — notorious for their breeding ground for infection.

However I couldn’t get past the other stuff: the floor looked kinda like it hadn’t been mopped in several days, the worn lazy boy chairs looked like someone’s grandmother’s house, they reused paraffin wax  and my manicure was less than “clean.” But the pedicure seemed kosher and my toes were somewhat happy. However they didn’t do as good of a job as my OLD place. So now it’s time for another one and as of late I just resort to doing it myself and ignore the recommendations. I am too afraid for what can result from going to a local spa for a pedicure on the fly. But damn I hate doing it myself.

You may bet thinking that this is all superficial. And some of you may say why should any of this matter to your readers who aren’t women? Well because we all know how you guys like a put together woman and with summer not quite yet over, I’m sure you would like to see more feet in good condition as oppose to this:

Did someone say pumice stone, please?!

Feet of Crafty McGee. Sorry girl but I gotta give you credit for the honesty.