How to get anything done: Lie

I am a very upfront, and highly honest person. Maybe a bit too honest. I’ve said that before here at my blog but now I see that I have been wrong all along.

I recently spilled a glass of my breakfast Odwalla B-Monster smoothie all over my work laptop computer…and it wasn’t closed. At least the computer itself wasn’t effected but the keyboard no longer types the letters “U, Y, G, V and J.” I kind of need those letters. Well when I called IT, they basically told me in a very quaint and polite way.

“Just turn the laptop over in a towel. Everything will be OK. Contact your manager.”

Basically I needed to call my boss to see about replacing the whole thing as it was clear that the help desk didn’t offer an alternative other than make a hope, wish and a prayer.  I am quite sure that all I need is a new keyboard because luckily the actual computer works fine in my work docking station. I just can’t use it at home. When I told my boss, he was like “We’ll get it replaced.” But when I told him that I told the IT department that I spilt the smoothie he said, “You really are too honest, Jenice.” Is this a bad trait to have. Geez. I thought that was endearing in a person.

I guess some would call what I did too much disclosure. I probably should have just not told the whole story. But that just seems too unethical and of all the questionable things I am guilty of, being unethical is one thing I don’t want my name attached. So I told it like it was. I shall call it “Smoothie-gate.”


Well, all was fine for a while. The crud dried and the keys seemed to work for like 30 minutes and then it was no use. I was contacted this week about getting things sorted (not exactly sure how) but I just got this email from the tech handling my case.

 Just found out that the Dispatch was canceled for being honest about the reason for replacing the keyboard.

So when I emailed him back I said:

So if I had lied then I would have had this expedited better? Good to know that lying is the best policy these days. (INSERT SARCASTIC SMILEY FACE HERE.)

He said I had a point. However the the moral of the story is that when the B-Monster hit my keyboard, and I made the call, I should have said it just stopped working. I should have lied my ass off (or what many people call “not telling the whole truth/story”) and I would have a laptop with keys that work right now.  And as it turns out, the tech is going to find a way to help me so maybe being too honest still works out in the end. But really, lying is the best policy when it comes to getting things done.

3 responses to this post.

  1. Wow. This brings back memories of me frying a laptop with a glass of water. Ever since then, nothing close to liquid gets near it.

    Volunteering is great, but deadly when it comes to sharing information. Hope you get your laptop back soon. . .

    BTW, how was that B monster smoothie?


  2. I know you’re honest.
    But you have to play the system.
    Its not like this is some frivolous medical lawsuit on your behalf.
    Whats worse is when you get into these situations and have to play stupid.
    I bought a new car a few years back and everything was wrong with it from the get go.
    I took it in for warranty work and still the thing kept fuckin up. So I decided to work on it myself and it didnt get any better.
    The I found out that if any unqualified person worked on the car the warranty would be null and void.
    Naturally the next time I brought it in I didnt say a word about all the work I did on it and covered any trace of me ever working on it.
    I pitched a royal freaking bitch and called the corporate offices and raised holy hell.
    They told me to take the car back to the dealership and to have the service department call them.
    As a result I got a completly new engine.
    The cost on my customer copy was placed at 12,000.00
    I never had a problem with it again.
    Sorry, but I was not about to take a 27,000.00 loss.


  3. One thing is certain – you wouldn’t fare well in politics!

    Smoothie-gate. Love it!


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