Day 63: The power of a note on the door…

Be gone all you thiefs!I woke up to discover this morning that my tiny Christmas tree equipped with tiny, shiny, glittery little ornaments was swiped from my front porch. I know that it may not have been the best thing — to actually leave something I gave a rip about on the front porch. But combined with the gold bells on my door, the bow I made latched on to the door knocker — everything felt so nice when I came home. Because from inside and out my house was so very pleasantly festive with Christmas cheer. Well, my Christmas cheer faded with my little discovery.

I became enraged. I left a polite note on my neighbor’s door about it after looking around the complex (and glancing the trash) to see if I would find it somewhere. I sat in my house, numb with anger of course. I’ve been robbed several times in my life. Mostly related to my car. This was it. So I kept checking the peep hole every now and then just to see if I saw someone to ask questions. Then I noticed this one young looking guy coming down from upstairs who looked quite guilty when he stopped at my neighbor’s door to read my note which read:

“If you happen to know who stole my tree, please let me know. It wasn’t very nice. Signed (my apartment number).”

Then after he read it, he looked down directly where my Christmas tree WOULD have been. When I saw his face I decided to draft another letter and this time put it on MY door. This one read:

“Merry Christmas Asshole. Whoever stole my fucking Christmas tree doesn’t know who they are fucking with. You will get yours — one way or another. Signed (my apartment number).”

I fumed. Ran errands and came home. Then I heard some really loud walking and looked out the peephole. I saw my “friendly” upstairs neighbor going downstairs. I decided to wait for her to head back up. She would have to pass my door to get to her apartment. I waited because the connection was made. She was surely friends with the guy from earlier in the afternoon. Before I could completely ask her if she had heard anything funny last night she confessed that her friend stole my tree. She said he was “intoxicated” and that she was sorry and was bringing back the tree. Guess what she said next?

“I didn’t appreciate that note. It wasn’t very Christmas-like…”

THE BALLS ON THIS CHICK! I told her I didn’t give a damn, she stole from me and that I’ve been through a lot in my life. And that I didn’t appreciate HER stealing from me. She proceeded to say it wasn’t her. It was her friend. Same damn thing. Long story longer, she brought it back and said that she didn’t want it to affect things with her and I. Hilarious. My punctuation mark was letting her know I’ve been victimized in my life and that stealing from me was wrong. She felt like shit. Her face was if she may have concluded I was once upon a time kidnapped and left for dead.

What does this have to do with the countdown? Nothing. An hour walking in a parade carrying a giant Curious George yesterday and ending my day getting back stolen property counts as a workout for me.


9 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by wearealwaysalwaysmortal on Sunday, December 2, 2007 at 9:12 pm

    ahhh nothing gets me more angry than when I am stolen from, and it takes a lot to get me angry. I know how you feel.


  2. I know exactly how you feel. Same thing happened last year at my place.
    We live in a townhouse complex. I got one of those little Charlie Brown Christmas trees for dollar last year because nobody wanted it. I took it home and put it in the ground by all the mail boxes. It was mostly for the kids in the neighborhood. It had little cartoon charicatures for ornaments and fake candy canes and tinsel and garland with a big shiny silver star ontop.
    It was cuter than shit ! It was only about 3 ft. tall , but it was cool !
    The next day the silver star was missing, I asked all the kids and they lied through their teeth and said they “dunno” I told this one little shit that if you lie, you get a black streak across your forehead. The little fucker ran and looked at his forehead in my cars side mirror !
    You gotta be careful with other peoples kids so I just left it alone.

    I’m going to do it again this year. But the first night the tree is out I’ll be sitting on the roof with my paintball gun.
    Merry Chritmas AJJ, dont let the shitheads get you down.


  3. I guess I should of mentioned that the second night they stripped the tree completly.
    Like a bunch of socialist squirrels.


  4. J – I think you should change professions. You should become a PI!

    And I was floored that she was upset with your note. That takes nerve!

    I think it is wonderful that you got it back.

    Hope you are well.



  5. Thanks Micky. I’ll try. But it’s hard when you basically think everyone is out for themselves and don’t give a damn about you or your feelings!
    Chris: Maybe I should be a PI. My eyes are currently glazed over from my job. I need change…


  6. Hey AJ, most people honestly dont give a fuck about anyone elses feelings. Even their own feelings ! They morph into characters over time that are resiliant to the guilt their own mistakes cast on them. They have a hard enough time living with themselves, so why worry about how their actions affect anyone else ? Consequently they end up being surrounded by people like you who are pissed at them and the whole process just snowballs into the society you see in front of you.
    BUT ! In all my years of shit I have found out that deep down people do want to be good,right and nice.
    And the malority of us will get back on that path if just given the chance.
    Your best bet is to tell the bitch you forgive her, amd Merry Christmas.
    And if you dont already have a couple of good friends that you can love and trust , then go find a couple, and hang on to them. Because real friends are far and few between.


  7. Hiya J,
    That’s a heck of a story that ends well with a small price. I can see the averted eyes on the stairwells and in the hallways now. Remind me not to mess with you. Hope you’re well.


  8. “I didn’t appreciate that note. It wasn’t very Christmas-like…””

    NO SHIT! OMG, that is some nerve! What the hell was she thinking when she said that? Were you supposed to be sorry that you “guilted” them into bringing back the tree??? Light a bag of dog shit in front of her door!


  9. I thought about the dog shit, actually!
    Mike! Glad to see you once again, my friend. Yes. Never mess with me. I’m kind of left from center.


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