STD free is the life for me…

casual-sex-day.JPGThat may sound like a cheesy PSA or after-school special. But damn it’s so true. Being a single chick in this day and age of crazy STD stats is a tough sport. You kind of feel like saying, “It’s hard out here for a pimp…

Because man, even though I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the things your mama says you shouldn’t, I’m not really feeling like risking things. I get tested every year. And every year feels like, *coughs* dodging a bullet, even when you know you stayed safe. Do I really have to discuss the reliability, or lack there of, when it comes to protection? I hate the word abstinence but I like my life. So if I’m not catching my share of worth-a-crap fish, I’m not going to risk my health on a quick swim. What’s a girl to do when she has a healthy appetite? Good thing I don’t live in Alabama.

Some may say that the stats big bad government gives us are exaggerated. However I highly doubt it. Mainly because it seems like two out of every five people I’ve ever met in my life have or had an STD. I don’t need to Google or go to the library for reinforcements here. That alone is enough. Why is sex so appealing? What a dumb question.

What I should really be asking is why does sex have to be so damn cursed? If you believe in Genesis, then maybe Eve can be our theory. Eve messed up royally grabbing that apple. 280px-shemaylookcleanbut.jpgWas that the beginning of crabs? Did she and Adam get an itchy rash after sharing the bittersweet fruit? I’m not aiming at being blasphemous. I’m really asking. There has to be traceable origin of the first STD which I’m guessing was syphilis. Any STD scholars out there? The ladies over at The Blog of Knowledge have some fun and usable sex-filled advice. Maybe I should ask them… 

But I’ve really digressed. I just want to state the obvious: I have embraced and ranted about being a single gal but we all have needs — even defiant bitches like me. Some folks will tell you to get a FB. I’m not big into the FB stuff. It never ends well and someone always ends up wanting more…OR when the other gets a girlfriend or boyfriend, there went your easy access to booty.

Do I really have to get in a serious relationship to feel safe? And even when you do, man…don’t get me started on cheating. Gee after writing about it, sex seems like too much trouble…

 Here’s a victory dance…


9 responses to this post.

  1. AHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Somehow spam didn’t really read what I wrote. This came from someone named “Ada” that Akismet seemed to slip through the cracks. I deleted it but I just had to tell you what it said….

    “hey,be more positive,and try to do some other things in order to forget these unhappinesses,once i was so depressed by my hiv test result,i even thought about killing myself,but one of my friends saved me,he invited me to, n i met so many hiv positives there,n they a so happy.some of them even get married through the site.i am not telling good 4 the site,but i hope u can be happy.
    all the best*_*”

    I’m so happy that I now know where to be happy. WTF??? This is what happens when you tag posts with sex. There are definite consequences.


  2. Outstanding! And now you know where not to go to pick up singles.

    Seriously though, you’re very right. Is it worth it? On one hand, yes, but on the other hand… I was faced with this dilemma when I was divorced a few years back. You go from a known (at least I hoped it was a known) to an unknown. While you certainly like the good aspects of a healthy sex life, the bad aspects are usually rather unforgiving. How do you know for sure with anybody? You can take somebody like me who has had few partners and has been tested regularly… But all it would take is for my girlfriend to have stepped out once without me knowing and bam! Infected with some sort of funk without ever knowing it.

    But ya know what? Getting into a car is a risk. Going swimming is a risk. Taking a walk down the sidewalk is a risk. Yet every day we do these things. If we obsess we miss out. At some point we either have to accept that there are risks to be had but the rewards are worth the risk, or we have to seal ourselves in our homes and put padding on every corner 🙂


  3. Well though you have a wonderful point, Arc. I have to disagree. All of those things you mentioned are surely choices. However some of our choices are necessary to function like leaving the house to get in your car to drive to where you make a living. But is sex really a necessary function if I’m not planning on hatching eggs? Do I really have to spread eagle or bend over as a requirement to putting food on my table? No. It’s recreation. Why risk sex if I don’t really need to breathe or survive with it?

    Also, I’m not saying I’m not for dating or having a relationship. I’m just saying that I’m not for casual sex anymore (I have my share of stories!) The feeling you get after you have done it isn’t worth the hassle. Hey, I love getting laid just as much as the next person, but I don’t love it so much that I want to have to heal what my sexual cravings have done. The supposed “worth it risk” that sex brings would only be worth it if I’m in a serious relationship. That is a worthwhile risk I guess. But not bed-hopping, F buddies and one-night stands. Until that seriousness happens, and I’m not sitting around waiting for it, I think sex isn’t such a great idea in the land of single in 2007.


  4. With my computer problems now behind me, I am now caught up.
    I have been married for 14 years. This is not a new problem but an old one. You have to do what’s right for you and it sounds like you are. Abstinence is difficult but it sounds like the risks are too great these days to go any other way. Too bad. The fb solution can work but like all other relationships, it can get messy.


  5. Posted by MisstressM on Sunday, October 7, 2007 at 9:49 am

    Thank you for your comment. I snooped around your blog a bit and I plan on adding you to my blog roll. I can always used strong and independent women to learn from.

    Welcome and enjoy reading.


  6. What about condoms? Also, many STDs are treatable but then you’ve got herpes, warts, and of course, God forbid – HIV – so maybe you ought to just find a steady boyfriend lol


  7. Coincidentally, I almost lifted that Casual Sex Friday pic from Myspace and posted it. Hmm…


  8. Stiletto, that’s uncanny. I like to go to and saved that one some time ago–just looking for a good place for it. Seemed fitting being a Friday post….
    Well as for condoms. I’ve broken my share. And even if they don’t ever break, herpes can be contracted anyway. I just rather not have to take Valtrex and stick with my little pink friend for now! Knowing I’m another year free is too nice to spoil.


  9. For some abstinence may be the way to go and there is nothing wrong with that. However, for those who have to have sex or multiple “ f buddies,” wrap it up and be safe. It’s a part of human nature to want to have sex so I understand. The thing is that it should be with someone that you care about because this idea of “f buddies” is a bit ridiculous. Nevertheless, I know that they do exist.
    On the other hand, they cause problems. You have to worry about he emotional baggage that comes along with these wishy washy and none stable “relationships.” In addition, you also have to think about who else they might be sleeping with besides you. You might not be sleeping with anyone else, but if you are sleeping with this “f buddy” and they are sleeping with someone else, you could be potentially sleeping with more people than you actually think. That can lead to STD’s and bacterial infections, and that’s not cool at all. It’s also not healthy so if abstinence works for some and not for others, I say go for it!
    A friend of mine who had just one sex partner contracted an STD from the “f buddy” that she had. She came to me crying and saying that she didn’t understand how it could have happened to her. She really liked the guy, but apparently he didn’t feel the same way, because when she called and told him about it he hung up on her. This incident happened about 6months ago and he has not called her since. I do not think that anyone wants to go through situations like this. So if you are one of those who have to have sex, protect yourself first because no one will protect you like yourself. On the other hand, for the others who do not need sex, practice abstinence and you won’t have those problems


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