Archive for September 27th, 2007

“You have 10 profile views…”

Once upon a time in the land of pseudo optimism, I opened an account on a dating site — even though I pride myself on being independent and embracing my single life (*snickers a little…*) I know. I know. But gee, I just ran plum out of places to meet guys I would eventually have nothing in common with. Go figure.

At the time I opened the account it was after a few people in my life convinced me to put myself out there, so I did. Just to see what it was all about. However I’ve since neglected the profile pretty much because I refused to waste my cold cash for the “pleasure” of contacting/responding to an I’m Online smiley face. But because I never turned the email feature off, I was still getting email alerts every time I got profile views or if someone sent me a message. I should have deleted it sooner but left it up just to see what would filter in — partly for laughs but mostly for curiosity.

It’s kind of sad though. One: To even have the profile in the first place. Two: To realize online the same thing you realize in “real” life — looking kind of sucks. I figure it’s just better to lie low and see what happens in your day to day bustle. Well that and the messages below are from guys I’ve attracted and they weren’t a strong case for going the online route. Please note that I have not altered a single word except any phone numbers or “real” names. And nine out of ten of the guys who contacted me were well over my age range (no offense to any readers of a certain age!)

Bonjour and you are joli. Here it is a Sunday night and I have long since been awake. And as I met the Lord this morning in the stillness of this days awakening-I ask Him once again Lord, will today be the day that I find a friend who is looking for me? So after viewing your profile, I ponder for awhile to pay this fee, please allow me to introduce myself I am Chef Joey I am a man who has many gifts and have already reached several of my goals. My life and my love for God have moved me into Next Dimension thinking. “A Man of substance, a hard working man and I do put in many long hours, oh and a character, I get silly at time”. I look forward to the next season of my life, with the one, He prepare for me. I am a classic romantic. Small notes on a pillow, surprise warm baths and hot oil for a weary day. If you want to be romance and spoil, that I can do. I have shared some of my thoughts with you; won’t you take the time to share a few words with me? As I stated in my profile I am open to a real conversation, via telephone. Online chatting/emailing back and forth does absolutely nothing for me. Talk with me, I’d love to hear your voice my number is 555-555-5555.

Signed A. Guy I Need a Translator For AND Probably Needs a Green Card

Prove you wrong? Hmmmmm……….. I guess I can surmise from that, that you just naturally assume you are right . I checked out your website. You have a very discerning eye. You’re very artistic. My artistc talents tend toward the graphic. I enjoy drawing and painting a bit. I would really like to learn more about you. Please check out my profile and if you find it interesting, hit me back. I would love to chat with you.
Have a great day, hope to hear from you soon.

Signed A. Guy Who Said He’s Looking for a Dark-Skinned Beauty (AND WELL OVER 50!)

Granted my profile headline did say, “creative cynic, prove me wrong.” Cheesy, I know. And this guy’s about the most intelligent message I had received. But did I mention he was/is looking for a dark-skinned beauty? WTF???!?!?!

Nice essay…obviously an intelligent, interesting lady. I could probably shoot some stick w/ya…we’ll chat soon…

Signed A. Guy Who Took My Love of Pool to New and OBVIOUS Heights

Hi ,I’m (bleep) i like your pic(s) & profile a little about myself i’m spontaneous,fun loving & witty. I’m open minded and eclectic I enjoy meeting new people going to new places and doing new things.I’d love to hear your story if open to talking drop me a line ….. …have a great day……ciao!

Signed A. Guy I Can’t Believe Signed A Message with Ciao

I could go on but that would just be wrong. It’s only a small taste of the messages I got. You know how Seinfield would be so damn picky about his dates and would find the dumbest things to dump them over? Well I’m not sure if I was really being picky by not responding to these guys but I do know I got the creeps. And even though looks aren’t everything, how hard is it to get a photo of you that isn’t in front of your Driver’s Select  BMW or out of focus, or taken with a cell phone, or obviously from 1985? 

As 30 rears it’s hopefully lovely head, I wonder if I can nab me an 80-year-old hottie who likes billiards, black women and needs me to send money to his far off land so he can come marry me proper.

Wow. I make a really pissed of cat.

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I won’t be turning in my “black card.”

I didn’t write about the Jena 6.

In all honesty I just didn’t and don’t know exactly how I feel about it. No need to rehash the details because by now, unless you live under a rock, you know the story the media has given and CAN give us. I’m a journalist but I can agree that everything seemed to really escalate with all the coverage. That said, reporters just do their jobs. It’s a hot topic and if your media outlet isn’t covering it, there went their ratings. 

Let me just get some things straight though — I don’t think the original charges fit the crime, which have since been reduced. I feel that such charges were too harsh for clobbering a guy who ended up at a school function later that day. But if that doesn’t convince you, think of the possible scenario if the charges had stuck. Young men in jail for 20 years is asking for trouble. Not only for the families but our communities. When a guy sits in the hole for 20 years at an early age, many times they aren’t thinking about reforming while there and even if they do reform, a lot of times they come out bitter, angry, confused and have a horrible time finding work. Then they become a problem financially for all of us when they can’t get a job because of their record. 

But I also know racism still exists. I write about it here quite a bit because sadly the topic keeps coming up. And I know those three nooses hanging from that tree were more than just freedom of speech. They hung there as a message of hatred and ignorance. However violence only feeds the ignorance and beating up that white kid was the worse thing those boys allegedly did.

I still will not hang my hat on what I’ve been told happened but the end result doesn’t change: Someone got severely injured at the hands of sheer violence and that’s  a crime. These are all reasons why I didn’t write about this topic. It was one time out of a few that shooting from the hip gave me pause. Because to most people who support The Jena 6, I might as well turn in my “black card.”

But here is something interesting. Now we are being told that one of the 6 allegedly had myspace pics up with him brandishing money. The opposing side is surely going to use them for their case and there is even a Neo-Nazi site (I’m not posting that link obviously) who has them up. The myspace has since been deleted.

There is speculation that the money came from donations to support legal fees for the 6. But I’m not going to assume anything. You be the judge and we will all wait to find out the truth eventually. But you know young teen boys. Teenagers are real do now, suffer the consequences later types (you know that if you’ve got young ones at home) and all this publicity has just GOT to have those kids feeling kind of invincible. I mean wouldn’t you?? If people from all of the country along with Mr. Al Sharpton came to march just for you?And if the news has been talking about you for weeks. There are Jena 6 shirts, Web sites, petitions — wouldn’t you feel pretty puffed up by all the attention if you were a teenager?

Bottom line: I won’t turn in my “black card” for my above statements. Just because I’m black, DOES NOT mean I will fall in line.