Archive for September 25th, 2007

Self discovery in a drug store

After work today, I stopped by a local CVS to pick up some photos I had developed.

I don’t shoot film anymore but during the move I discovered three disposable cameras. I shudder at the thought of ever using such awful creations of photography EVER again. The lighting always sucks. Whatever flash built in is mediocre. There is no possibility of a “macro” shot. But I was still curious as to what was on those archaic things. Two of them didn’t have an exploration date — one of them did and it was well past the date of when I decided to have them developed.

I knew what was possibly on them — I knew that at least two of them were from a trip I took about three years ago or so with an ex to San Antonio. The other was a shear mystery. (All of which is why I went to CVS over a better photo shop. Why waste good money?) So given the possible context of the two, I seemed to not think twice about leaving the poor suckers on the passenger seat in my car while I was typing away at work. That was dumb I know but that’s what I did.

So today was the big reveal. I only got about 30 images total that developed. That was either because of my obvious stupid flub about keeping them in the car or the years of neglect in drawers, (possibly a glove box) and cardboard boxes. But alas there they were. Thirty photos of nothing that special: A few pics of me and the ex, some rock formations from the Natural Bridge Caverns in San Antonio and some photos from a birthday party/drag show.

I stood there looking at them after the lady at the counter explained why they didn’t all turn out. I’m used to digital now. The age of film is lost to me. I said my “thank yous” and left the store. When I reached my car I sat a while with those photos in my hands, shuffling them and staring at each strange image. I couldn’t help muttering to myself, “Whose life do these images belong to?”

All the faces in those pictures are no longer who I see. The activities from all of them seem distant memories. Since those photos I’ve made a new life with new people in it. All the while I keep no contact really with anyone in those shots I spent all of $12 and some change to get developed.

I make new memories now. But I’ve been looking back a lot lately of who I was before and who I decided to spend my time with — and still I wonder, who the hell was that?!

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