I’m single. So what?

I can’t believe I am actually going to say this but I think I’ve finally come to grips with being single. Mark my words I guess but it finally dawned on me that being comfy in my own skin was a bit more important than having to have someone else’s right next to me to make me feel whole. But my newfound comfort level pretty much got shaken at lunch last week. Over sandwiches and cheesecake of all things. And a tall glass of sweet tea. Crammed in a leather booth with five other work mates.A married coworker said something I JUST HATE TO HEAR.

“You need a man,” she said. I nearly spit out my rich, cakey goodness as I slowly removed the fork from my mouth.

It was abrupt in a pure New York accent. I think maybe she meant well. Who the hell knows. In front of the whole damn table she said this. And I just laughed it off. Everyone at the table was either married or practically married. There was only one other single chick at the table who is younger than me. Her eyes nearly feel out of her head. And because I’m just so damn lovable (yea, right) I just let it go.

I get asked a lot why I’m not married. More than I feel I need to.

“You have so much going for yourself, I would think any man would want to snatch you up!” or “I go to church with such and such guy you should meet.” That last one always gets me going and I try my best to be polite about it. I usually just want to say why are you assuming I take communion? Or what makes you think I’m not an atheist.

And then I get this whole bit like, “Oh with how busy you are, I bet you don’t even have the time.” Why does my singlehood have to be justified like that?

I’m convinced that single is the new relationship. I have said this before but only embraced it seriously today. Mainly because sorting out your life into cardboard boxes at midnight kind of makes you reflect on life for some reason. I’ve made a huge improvement in my attitude toward life and have finally come to a great happy place with the world of just me. Even after that little lunch. But I will admit hearing such remarks sickens me about the same way hearing something bigoted would rile me up.

I don’t feel the need to justify why I’m single. I just am. So why can’t people leave it alone? I’m single. So what?

Awww. Poor single kitty.

Hahaha. Check out the latest cat from the lol generator. She even looks a little like me.

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15 responses to this post.

  1. I think you may have scared everyone away with this post! Ha ha. I have an idea, win them all back with a photo of you smiling! That’ll do the trick.

    Reply

  2. Hey! If that’s so then fine *pouts*
    I’m just keepin’ it real! Why can’t I rant?
    And I’ve even made up some T-shirts with my new favorite mantra on it.

    Reply

  3. J –

    I’ve had the same experiences myself and “overall” don’t feel the need to be coupled. Im not saying I NEVER want a mate but I actually enjoy my own company.

    The below song is almost a matra for me because it sums up exactly how I feel. Its from My Queen (because, yes, I am a stereotype) and is probably older than you are.

    Lullaby For Myself (Released 1977)

    Self-contained and self-content
    No promises to keep

    I’ve got things so together
    That I just can’t fall asleep

    Walked the night and drank the moon
    Got home at half-past four,

    And I knew that no-one marked my time
    As I unlocked my door.

    It’s really lovely to discover
    That you like to be alone

    Not to owe your man an answer
    When he gets you on the phone

    Not to share a pair of porkchops
    When you crave champagne and cheese

    And your aim becomes to please yourself
    And not to aim to please

    Oh they sold me when they told me
    Two can live as cheap as one

    But I’m learning twice you’re earning
    Doesn’t mean it’s twice the fun

    If you spend each dime and all your time
    On someone else’s schemes

    I’m not needy but I’m greedy
    And I live my deepest dreams

    Take an hour in the shower
    Use the water while it’s hot

    In the tub a hand to scrub my back
    Is all I haven’t got.

    Self-aware with self-esteem
    Is selfishness a crime?

    I take the day for quite a ride
    And I take my own sweet time

    Time to spare and time to share
    And grateful I would be

    If just one damn man would share the need
    To be alone with me.

    I tried to burn this song to my laptop but my burner is not working (hmmm-I will have to get it fixded) so you could here it sang to music.

    I am comfortable being alone, and maybe one day I will be ready and I will meet the “right” man and it will be wonderful…. Until then, I’m Self-aware and self-content!

    Chris
    http://www.2288beckleyrd.com

    Reply

  4. J –

    I love the idea of the T-shirt…..SERIOUSLY!

    Chris
    http://www.2288beckleyrd.com

    Reply

  5. So what, indeed. We all make our choices. And, of course, everyone gets to question them–as you say, that’s what makes us alive. I for one am happy you’ve made your choice and are good with it. If you choose differently later, that’s fine, too.

    Enjoying your blog. Thanks.

    Reply

  6. Thanks Chris. I may print that song out.
    And Halshop, thanks for stopping by! I hope you enjoy the rest of my drivel!

    BTW, I was serious about the shirt. Go to http://www.cafepress.com/shootfromhip
    Stock up for the holidays! Hahaha.

    Reply

  7. J –

    I have purchased shirts from there and have considered doing the same with a few of my favorite home grown sayings that people seem to like.

    GOOD FOR YOU!!!!

    Chris
    http://www.2288beckleyrd.com

    Reply

  8. I get this all the time too. My parents even ask me when “I’m ever gonna get a girl” now that I’m divorced. My answer, through clenched teeth is “never”.

    I don’t really mean that but I’m just sick and tired of hearing that question. I know how you feel. It’s annoying. I get the same question from friends and aquaintences. Certain relatives too.

    I appreciate their concern but why can’t these people get it through their heads that I’m perfectly happy right now just living with my youngest daughter and not having a social life? I have a daughter to get through high school. The last thing I need to be doing is going out and pursuing relationships.

    Reply

  9. Amen Greg.
    Luckily my relatives have seen my exes and pretty much leave me alone. They know it’s been tough being engaged twice. But it’s everyone else who can’t let my singledom go. Makes me sick. Hey we can just lie and say we are dating each other and maybe that will shut everyone else up! Hahah. Just kidding Greg. Don’t be scared.

    Reply

  10. Thats funny J –

    Hey – I know…. tel em you are dating a 46 year old from Phoenix. I have some good pictures of myself… they don’t have to know I’m gay.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    I sure hope you are having a wonderful weekend.

    Chris
    http://www.2288beckleyrd.com

    Reply

  11. I may take you up on that. I’ve seen a few pics of you Chris. You are a hottie.

    Reply

  12. ahhhhh…. you are WAAAAAAAAAAAAAY tooo kind…or blind!!!!

    A couple of years ago I would agree… Damn I need to start doing something about it….

    but for you J…. anything…. you know………

    Chris
    http://www.2288beckleyrd.com

    Reply

  13. Posted by Serenella on Sunday, September 16, 2007 at 3:12 pm

    single is the new relationship— i love that!
    i seem to be in the same boat right now but have come to accept it and find it so much easier to live….its all about being comfortable in your own skin…you go girl!

    can i please add you to my blogroll?

    Reply

  14. Thanks Serenella for stopping by and sure you can add me to the roll. Do you have a blog I can check out?? And don’t forget to take a look at the “I’m Single. So What?” merch in my sidebar. I plan to add to it soon! Cafepress is fun!

    Reply

  15. […] a time in the land of pseudo optimism, I opened an account on a dating site — even though I pride myself on being independent and embracing my single life (*snickers a little…*) I know. I know. But gee, I just ran plum out of places to meet guys I […]

    Reply

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