There’s friendly and there’s friendly…

Dave Chapelle had this skit on his show with this old guy just saying annoyingly, “Holla, holla, holla…lemme holla at cha!” You can be thoroughly annoyed with it here. Anyway, every time I get out of my car at my apartment, I think of this character… Just today I was carrying out a very large picture and my purse from my car after returning from work. I hear above me from a balcony of the apartments several feet away, “You need some help?” I peer up to see two smiling 20 or 30 somethings grinning down at me, creepily. I say, “No thank you,” and quickly shuffle my ass into the house. This isn’t the first time. There is, to me, a difference between being genuinely friendly and being friendly.

So I’m dreading my trip into the house because I know in a short five minutes after changing to go workout I have to hear them again. This time I have no clue what the bloody hell they said but I pretend not to hear. When I return from Curves (yes, Curves … don’t laugh), I get out and AGAIN THEY ARE SAYING SOMETHING. What they are saying I couldn’t make out but this time I look back and say, “What?” Both of them, again with those crazy smiles, peer their heads down through the railing and just look at me. I quickly make my way up the stairs…To me it’s like that guy yelling “holla” over and over: It’s bothersome and creepy (did I say creepy enough?) and I hardly can make out what in the world they are saying half the time. Compounded with the fact they just keep on spouting crap as I walk up the stairs every day. So what is this? Harassment? Innocent flirting? Just some guys drunk and goofing off? Not really sure but you can never be too safe. I mean just today a coworker friend of mine got mugged in broad daylight. More on that in a later blog. You just can’t be too comfortable with your surroundings. But with this usual routine, I don’t really feel in danger necessarily. Just bothered and yucked out but I don’t let my guard down. I never considered myself the type to hate cat calls. I find them mildly amusing. But I find them mildly amusing away from home! The idea of a cat call in my neighborhood makes me kind of throw up in my mouth just a little. Let’s just say not the best of neighbors as a whole.

Some may consider all this “holla” behavior, cat call or not, to be sexual harassment. I dare not take myself too seriously to say that is what it is but it definitely is a nuisance! And not at all flattering.


6 responses to this post.

  1. That is rather creepy. These guys knowing where you live…. I wouldnt’ like that. Just too close to home and they get to know your schedule and habits, etc.

    Im sure it is not a big deal but please be careful!!!

    Oh… Did I mention that men are CREEPS in general!!!! HAHAHA


  2. Ah yes. I know….they are! Haha!
    The schedule thing bothered me a lot too. Luckily I’m moving next month…


  3. Posted by loudmouthprotestant on Wednesday, August 22, 2007 at 8:43 am

    It’s quite funny that you blogged on this because I had a post in the same vein after an experience I had last night with my neighborhood homeless person. And men wonder why black women are so high-strung… It’s because we are on a virtual battlefield every day of our lives, dodging the bullets of overly and overtly friendly men. It’s gotten so bad for me, that I am afraid I won’t know how to accept a compliment because my discernment is being shot everyday.


  4. I know. It makes it difficult to know what to trust as a compliment and what is just “holla” behavior!

    “And men wonder why black women are so high-strung… ” girl yes.


  5. This is an easy one to fix trust me. They are in an apartment next door or something right? Next time they do this. Go in to the house. Wait a few minutes then go knock on their door. It will open, they’ll think you are taking them up on their advances. This is when you let them have it. Something very witty, yet cutting them down at the same time. by the sound of it they wouldn’t know this was happening with their limited vocabulary anyways.

    If it has a hall stay far enough back. Do not get in their faces. What this will do is not only call their bluff but let them know that your not the little girl that will sit there and take it. Being confronted they will not know how to deal with it and leave you alone.

    Continue to act shy, or that you didn’t hear them and they WILL continue until you stand up for yourself. If that doesn’t work. Let me know. 12+ years of martial arts training will solve a lot of issues when great bodily harm might take place.


  6. I love your approach here, hubby. And I have to say that it may work. I’m not shy at all and always stand up for myself but here’s the rub: I live alone in an apartment. Did I mention I was a woman? I come home at crazy hours…
    I’m not in the best of neighborhoods right now and afraid to risk anything. I’m moving in less than a month so I’m just grinning and bearing it. Maybe not the grinning part. They already asked if they could help me move when they saw me and my father moving out a couch I was giving away. Oh hellllssss no. I’m glad they asked when my father was around. He didn’t look thrilled after already knowing about their crap.
    So now I just think it’s easier to just get ready to move to a better neighborhood very very soon.


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