Nearly 30, still learning…

There is just something about spouting off stuff in the blog-o-sphere. You encounter wonderful people along the way and as you do, you can strike new friendships. There is just something electrifying about being in front of people who get to know you for the first time…

Why is this so refreshing???

Well, one thing I’ve learned recently: Never say too much to people close to you. Even if there is a huge history there. Why? Well, because they will always have enough ammunition to put you away (sometimes literally) with their actions or words and/or use your secrets against you for things that you never intended.

A major lesson: Don’t admit things you have always wanted to say, no matter for how long. People can possibly in turn misinterpret them and use them for their own amusement. My mother is someone who is really big on saying people are always jealous. She says three things (more or less in this fashion) on a daily basis:

1.) People play politics so learn the game.

2.) People are jealous of you when they see that your are progressing in your life.

3.) You need God in your life to have a sense of purpose.

I have a little trouble with the jealousy part: I’m not someone who constantly thinks people are jealous or envious of me. But my mother believes that people who ultimately do the most harm to you are people who are not fully happy with their lives and lash out at people who go after the things that (hopefully) ultimately will make them succeed or keep them content.

To me that is narcissism to believe people give that much of a damn for you, even though at times I catch myself repeating her words just because I want to have an answer to why people can be so blatantly cruel. So, to a point, I’m guilty of this “narcissism” on occasion. However if I believed the things my mother believed on a daily basis, my head would inflate. But I do have to ask, is it such a bad thing to be puffed up about yourself? I mean afterall it is truly YOU who you have to rely on in the end when people, such as doting parents, pass away.

All of that said, my mother needs to add a fourth to her list, though I know it’s an addition she agrees with whole-heartedly: Never say too much to who you think you can “trust.”

Doing no. 1 prevents that. And after nearly 30 years now of living, I only now fully understand what she meant.

Realizing no. 2 prevents heartache in the end.

Grasping no. 3, well…I’m working on that…

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2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Peter Hoppa on Friday, August 17, 2007 at 7:37 am

    Turned 50 on 8/13 and still learning (thank God). I have been in the medical field (Respiratory Care/Sleep Lab) since graduation(class of ’77). I read over the 3 points your mother made; she is a very wise women.

    * Life/work politics- if u like “besting” or debating other persons, then this is something to learn, but it brings a person to their level. Look at the political debates on TV and YouTube, bashing one another (they even belong to the same political party) and the “other” party. What is being accomplished? At this age I find myself listening and observing more, and when I am passionate about a topic, I try to approach it “from the side” asking questions that appear not relevant to the topic (ultimately it ends up there), more probing to see if the person(s) know their “stuff” or just like hearing themselves talk. It is a “never let them see you coming, always keep them guessing” attitude. My partner in the Lab, who was also a student of mine when I was teaching, commented that the meetings she attends are all politics and very boring (she also said my lectures were boring back then). I told her to just sit there and listen to the “talking” heads; at the very least it’s cheap entertainment, plus you are getting paid to be entertained! I stopped being political a while ago, got me thrown out of a few meetings.

    * Jealousy- FACT, there are many unhappy people out there, and if you are happy with your life, they will try to imprint their unhappiness on you!
    U like Einstein (as do I), I like Richard Feynman, the physicist. He wrote a book “What Do You Care What Other People Think”. Great read, good lessons to learn other than the subject matter discussed- Cliff knotes… “Never take yourself too seriously”, “Always keep an open mind”, and “Focus your efforts on what really matters” (these things can really piss some people off LOL).

    * GOD- I had 12 years of Catholic education, went to church everyday for 12 years. What did I learn, religion is philosophy manipulated by mortals and nothing more! As far as a GOD, I believe a person should be spiritual and have some belief in a higher source. It would be sad to not believe in something. I read an opinion on the web this week that commented “The name of God should be changed to Allah so that we all can get along”… mmmmm…. NOT!

    Listen to ur Mother! LOL… but in the end… whatdoiknow!

    Great blog, it’s fresh, glad I found it!

    PS- saw the “your ideal women”, mine is one that doesn’t bore me! Love the Michael Jackson video “Do you remember the time” when the Queen (Tyra Banks) says to Pharaoh (Eddie Murphy) “I’m bored”, cracks me up!

    Reply

  2. Thanks for stopping by, Peter!
    I especially chuckled at your Tyra Banks quote. I remember that!
    12 years of Catholic school! I bet you have a lot of knowledge I could learn from!
    Thanks for the insight and fun comment read.

    Reply

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