why do it?

It’s 10:07 p.m. (central time) and I’m at the office.

I’ve been shooting/networking/writing since 4 p.m. in the heat that is the staple of the wonderful South. Even as I type this, I can smell the outside yuck and the old sweat that has since dried on my face and flattened my hair. All of this plus I’m tired and have an early morning.

But as I drive home I will be filled with the satisfaction of progress….something I needed to feel today for TODAY was one of those I-think-I will-walk-out-of-the-office days —even before my little evening of coverage began. And it wasn’t because I had a bad day. I just felt heavy, tired and kind of like packing up my stuff and plopping on the couch. I don’t think that is from the feeling of laziness but more to the point — feeling like there’s more. There has to be right?

Well at least today meant progress: I made new contacts, got people excited about our publication and fulfilled today’s duties. There is so much I have to do from day to day in this field. Why are we so curious that it becomes the decision to be journalists? The money isn’t all that. We don’t do it for money I guess. And sometimes I really wish I wanted to do something else.

But I think we also do it because we think we will make some kind of mark once we are gone. Or maybe not.

Maybe it’s just narcissism…

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